Keith Wong: The Exclusive Interview II.

The King takes some time out of his busy schedule to sit down for an exclusive interview with The Royal Edict to talk about Team Iron Behemoths, changing the name of the blog, Michael Jackson, and maybe even bunnies, fluffy white clouds and butterflies. You know you want to read this!

(Note: The Editorial Team of The Royal Edict had actually prepared some questions before hand, but in the end, we really just went with the flow. The King is, after all, quite a character.)


Royal Edict: King, first off, before we start talking about anything else, would you please enlighten thy loyal fans on why you changed the name of this blog to “The Royal Edict”? The “Portal for the Self-Absorbed” seemed just fine.

Keith Wong: Well, it was just time for a change. I felt that the name “Portal for the Self-Absorbed” was actually quite restricting, and would, in a way, limit some of the content that the blog would see. It’s like I confined myself within a box. So I decided to change it to a more generic name, that is, “The Royal Edict”. It’s not a change in direction, rather, it’s an expansion. So now, instead of just me talking about how great I am, the fans will get even more content from The King; I can talk about just about anything. As long as it’s coming from The King, it’s “The Royal Edict”.

RE: Anything?

KW: Any-damn-thing. I could maybe do an article about pro-wrestling, or I could write a tribute to someone other than myself, like a friend or family member. I could give my take on politics, North Korean nukes, the economy, the recent H1N1 hullaballoo; hell, I could even talk about bunnies, or fluffy white clouds, or butterflies, or Michael Jackson.

RE: Ah, yes, Michael Jackson. That was a real shame, the way he died.

KW: Yeah it was. The world lost a great icon. I was actually looking forward to his comeback concert.

RE: You’re an MJ fan?

KW: Yeah I am actually. I know this may sound weird coming from me, I mean, I am known to be more of a Motörhead and Metallica kinda guy, but I actually listened to Michael Jackson long before I even heard of Motörhead or Metallica. Michael Jackson is such a talented artist that you just can’t ignore him. He’s really a one-of-a-kind musical genius. His music is a blend of such a wide variety of themes and styles and genres that there’s really something there for everyone. It’s really like, to quote him, “it don’t matter if you’re black or white”.

RE: So what’s your favourite MJ song?

KW: Definitely “Beat It” and “Black or White”. I’m a fan of rock music; so naturally, my favorites are the more rock-based ones.

RE: Can you do the moonwalk?

KW: Dude, you are talking to The King. The King is a multi-talented individual. Of course I can do the moonwalk!

RE: Seriously?

KW: Yeah of course. I’d show it to you, but well, let’s save it for a bigger event, shall we?

RE: Like when? I’d really like to see it.

KW: Yeah and so do the millions of other Keith Wong fans worldwide. Don’t think you’re so special just because you are on the editorial team for this blog, man. Like everyone else, you’ll just have to wait. Hmm… maybe I’ll do the moonwalk at next year’s Strongman Finals…

RE: That, would be a real show-stealer.

KW: Keith Wong always steals the show.

RE: Yes… Speaking of Strongman, let’s talk a little about that. You improved 9 places this year. In 2008, you placed 18th, and this year you placed 9th. Can you share with us how you improved so much so much over the past year?

KW: Well, like Hulk Hogan said, “You gotta train hard. You gotta take your vitamins. And you gotta say your prayers, brother!”

RE: So how did you train?

KW: I trained with Team Iron Behemoths, that’s how. And that’s not just some shameless plug, that’s the truth. You see, to improve, to be the best, you’ve got to take from everything that’s around you.

It’s not about reading shit on the Internet then training alone in some gym and thinking “I’m da shit, man! I’m hardcore!”. It’s not even about simply getting the best equipment. I mean, I could give the best equipment to a bunch of nerds and leave them be and they still wouldn’t make it into the Top-10, you know. Likewise, if I put together a bunch of relatively strong guys but don’t give them any equipment, or give them lousy equipment, then the results wouldn’t be so stellar either.

It’s about training with the best equipment, and the best people. That’s the key. That’s why everyone at Team Iron Behemoths improves and exceeds their own expectations – because when you train with Singapore’s Strongest, you push yourself to a whole new level and you yourself get stronger.

It’s true for every sport. Just look at any top athlete. You think Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Tiger Woods, or Michael Phelps would be champions in their sport by training in some dump alone? Of course not! They all had a whole team of people behind them – training partners, managers, sponsors, the works.

I personally have certainly reaped the benefits of training with Team Iron Behemoths. It’s a winning formula I can’t help but believe in.

"...a winning formula..."

RE: Alright, let’s go back a little. Why Strongman? What motivated you to start training for and taking part in Strongman competitions?

KW: Well, I’ve always been a naturally strong guy. I remember when I was 10 [years old], I used to help my mum carry rice from the car back to the house. I’d carry two 10kg bags of rice in each hand. So that’s a… maybe 40-plus, 50-kilo guy, carrying 40kg of total weight and walking with it – with ease. I was also always the guy that my family and relatives looked to to help move stuff, so I was accustomed to moving heavy cupboards, tables, sofas, and stuff like that. Maybe it was cos I was the oldest kid around, and most of my cousins are girls, but well, if I were a scrawny little dweeb, I doubt my family and relatives would wanna risk me breaking my back.

Then, as I was training in the gym in my teen years, I just naturally lifted weight more than others. That’s when a trainer approached me and told me about the Strongman Challenge in Singapore, so I went and watched it – that was in 2007 – and I thought to myself, hmmm, “I could do this; I could be pretty good at it”. So I started reading up more on Strongman training and all that and started to train more specifically for strength, and I made my Strongman competition debut in 2008. The rest, as they say, is history.

RE: So what’s your goal for Strongman next year?

KW: To win it of course! Every year I train to win; if I fall short, at least I tried my damnest. If you aim low, you will naturally hit even lower if you miss that mark. So I always believe in aiming for the richest prize. Like Jerry Lawler always says, “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the ONLY thing!”

RE: And what then? After you win.

KW: Well, I have some plans on what I wanna do after that, but, I shan’t reveal them at this time. One thing you can be sure of is that The King is gonna make a real big impact on Singapore sports. That’s a guaran-damn-tee.

"The King is gonna make a real big impact on Singapore sports. That’s a guaran-damn-tee."

RE: Sounds great. By the way, are the fans really gonna see The King talk about bunnies, fluffy white clouds and butterflies?

KW: Haha. That, my friend, is another tale for another time. Who knows, right? I have a friend who loves bunnies, maybe I’ll do an article on bunnies in the near future, just for her.

RE: Now, that, would really be a rare treat for the fans.

KW: Haha, yeah I guess it would. We’ll see about that.

RE: Alright, we’ve come to the end of this interview. Any parting words?

KW: Parting words? This is my site man, the fans are sure as hell gonna see more of me!

RE: Ok, lemme rephrase that. Any “wise” words to end this interview, before we next hear from The King?

KW: Ah, I guess this is the part where I shoot my signature catchphrase:

*Ahem*

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

It All Begins Again...

Following the Grand Finals of the HomeTeamNS Strongman Challenge 2009, Yours Truly has been on a month-long sabbatical.

During this time, The King enjoyed his time off by taking things easy and relaxing. God knows that the past year has been both physically and mentally taxing for me. The upset of Strongman 2008 consumed me day and night, driving me to train harder than ever and pay even closer attention to my diet. Not a day went by that I did not think of redeeming myself come Strongman 2009. Of course, now that I've competed in the Finals (although The Title still eludes me), I can finally sleep just a little easier.

The sabbatical has served me well. Keith Wong is now well-rested and refreshed - physically and mentally.

Now, the fire burns stronger than ever. The Title seems just a little bit closer.

I moved up 9 places this year. Next year, I'll only have to move up another 8.

So two weeks ago, Monday, April 20th, 2009, it all began again!

The King is back in action and he feels right at home!

Another year of bending barbells with superhero-like poundages. Another year of breaking personal records. Another year of manhandling massive tyres, cars and yokes. Another year of obsessing over what and when to eat. Another year of downing loads of supplements in the form of powder and pills.

The King is ready.


KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Royal Results: Strongman 2009

Greetings my loyal fans,

As you all must have heard by now, The King placed 9th at the 2009 HomeTeamNS Strongman Challenge.

You may recall that last year, Yours Truly placed a disappointing 18th. What a difference a year has made. A year of hard training, eating his vitamins and saying his prayers.

And so it was, the day The King had been training the whole year for - The Grand Finals of the HomeTeamNS Strongman Challenge 2009.

"Contestant Number 3. Standing at 1.75m tall and weighing in at 110 kilograms, he is The King, Keith Wong!"

10 of the strongest men in Singapore prepare to battle it out for the Ultimate Prize.

The show kicks off with the 2.4-tonne Chevrolet Car-Pull.

This is followed by the 200kg Yoke Walk.

Up next was the 100kg Log Walk. The King picks them up and runs.

The 260-kg Tyre Flip was the fourth event of the day.

Finally, the 4.2-tonne SCDF Red Rhino Pull, which The King completes without much effort.

The King places 9th and is shaking hands with Guest-Of-Honour Associate Professor Ho Peng Kee, Minister of State for Law and Home Affairs and President of HomeTeamNS.

Team Iron Behemoths and the other Finalists pose on stage for the media.

Team Iron Behemoths sweeping the Top-10 spots! They are pictured here with Ms. Suzanne Walker from 91.3FM, who did a great job hosting the event.

The King's royal entourage.

Oh yeah, that's The King on the boob tube. This was featured on Channel 8, Channel 5 and Channel News Asia.

I am grateful to God for giving me the opportunity to compete at this year's Grand Finals. In all honesty, many factors haven't been ideal this year. For one, there were some, well, matters of national interest (that I shan't elaborate on) that took 7 weeks off my preparation. This was followed by numerous - at least 4, if my memory serves me correctly - bouts of sickness, with the most recent (and serious) being an intestine infection that took me out for two weeks in mid-January. All of that adversely affected my training and made me wonder if I could even make it to the Finals. Thankfully, the Almighty God saw fit to be in my corner, and with some divine spotting, I managed to jump 9 places and come in a decent 9th this year.

The King would like to thank everyone that has helped him along the past year: his family and friends, Team Iron Behemoths - especially Samuel "The Hulk" Lim and Ben Ho -, his sponsors NutriFirst, Red Army Watches, Canterbury, Adventure 21, Hog's Breath Cafe, Telok Ayer Hong Lim Green Community Centre, and everyone else who had supported him through well-wishes via various media and all those who came down to watch Yours Truly in action.

What a difference a year has made. And what a difference another year will make! The King will be back at Strongman 2010 better than ever before. That is a guaran-damn-tee!


KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Finals, baby!

Praise be to God!

After a whole year of training hard, eating his vitamins and saying his prayers, Keith Wong the King has made it to the Finals of the HomeTeamNS Strongman Challenge 2009!

At the Preliminary Round today, held at the Basic Rescue Training Centre at Jalan Bahar, The King showed up, prayed, then went out to do what he had trained the whole of last year for.

The King before the competition, posing for some photos.

Looking confident before the 260kg Tyre Flip. This year's tyre was heavier than previous years', and this affected the minds of many other competitors.

But The King would not be denied; he flips the 260kg slab of rubber rather effortlessly for 15 metres.

The event that Yours Truly messed up last year: The 100kg Log Walk. This year, however, the logs felt unexpectedly (but pleasantly) light, and The King completed the event in a much better time.

And finally, the 4.2-tonne SCDF Red Rhino Pull. The Best Damn Legs In The Country sprints, and the Rhino can't help but go along for the ride.

After all three events were completed, The King waited with some butterflies in his royal stomach as the results were tabulated. I never thought I'd hug another guy, but dammit, when my name was announced among the Top 10 Finalists, The King hugged his good friend The Hulk (who needless to say also made it to the Finals) in an outburst of exhuberation and celebration.

And now my loyal fans, The King presents: The Finalists!

The Top 10, plus two reserves.

The King posing in front of the Red Rhino.

With The Hulk: Business partner, good friend, brother-in-Christ, training partner and mentor.

The King and his royal entourage. From left to right: My brother Lionel (who handled photography duties for the day), good friends Rafikee and Kenneth.

The King would like to thank everyone who came down to support him today, helped him look after his stuff, take photos and videos, and make sure no one poisoned his protein shake, so that Yours Truly could focus wholeheartedly on competing. Of course, The King has not forgotten and greatly appreciates all the well-wishes via phone/text messages/Facebook/MSN/whatever-media-you-may-have-used.

The King would also like to give a royal shout out to all the members of Team Iron Behemoths who valiantly competed.

Most importantly, The King would like to thank The Almighty God for giving him the opportunity to go to the Granddaddy of 'Em All: The Finals of the HomeTeamNS Strongman Challenge 2009 and compete for the richest prize in Singapore sports.

So stay tuned my loyal fans, as Keith Wong the King goes to The Finals on 21 March 2009 @ Toa Payoh HDB Hub and light it up!

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Strongman 2009

Finally...

After one long year, it's here again.

Sunday, 22nd February 2009, Jalan Bahar.

GAME ON!


KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Royalty Returns

Greetings, my loyal fans.

First off, let The King apologise to all of you avid readers of the Portal For The Self-Absorbed and loyal fans of Yours Truly for having deprived you all of what is possibly the best damn form of entertainment on the world wide web.

For the past 4 months or so, The King has been extremely busy with running his business (thank God for a great business partner), co-managing the Strongest Men in Singapore - Team Iron Behemoths, training for Strongman 2009, attending events/functions and making media appearances, and... how shall I put it... well, handling some matters of national interest, which I shan't elaborate on.

In case some of you haven't noticed, The Portal For The Self-Absorbed has recently turned 3. The King would like to thank all his loyal fans for making this site the most infamous weblog in the Singapore fitness community. In its third year running, the Portal For The Self Absorbed is making one significant change.

As you all must have noticed by now, the comments function has been disabled. The reason for that is simple. There have been too many insecure under-achievers abusing the privilege of having a feedback channel and trying to ride on the fame of The King. None of the loyal fans really care for what these losers have to say; The King sure as hell doesn't care about the "thoughts", "opinions", and "feelings" of these irreverant peasants.

As for my loyal fans, fret not, you can still connect with The King via Facebook, as many others have already done so.

That a side, The King hasn't forgotten what happened earlier this year. That unexpected upset has only served to set ablaze an unquenchable fire in The King's heart to win the Strongman Challenge. Since then, The King has been training his ass off six times a week, eating huge quantities of top quality beef, eggs, chicken and salmon, daily downing loads of supplements in the form of powders and pills, and living and breathing day and night with only one goal in mind: the richest prize in Singapore's strength sports scene.

Weighing in at a massively muscular 115kg, The King is stronger and faster than ever before. His already superhero-like gym lifts are constantly increasing, and his timing for strongman events have more than significantly improved from earlier this year.

With impressive personal records constantly being smashed by The King himself, there is no doubt that The King is more than well prepared for next year's Strongman Challenge. Other competitors (or wannabe-competitors) can drug up all they want; there will be no stopping Keith Wong from entering the HomeTeamNS Strongman Challenge and putting on one hell of a show. It will most definitely be a better showing in 2009.

That, is a guaran-damn-tee.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

The Handsome King

Behold, The Most Handsome Man Alive.

Just look at his million-dollar smile, Greek god physique, and luscious long locks. Such charm and charisma all bestowed upon one single individual.

Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Patrick Dempsey, Ryan Reynolds, Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Christian Bale, and all other men - Hollywood stars or otherwise - have absolutely nothing on The King.

Indeed, Keith Wong's great strength is only matched by his handsome-ness.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

"I'm The King and no one can beat me."

Unless you've been living under a rock, you would have noticed that Yours Truly, together with Sam "The Hulk", Mr. Philippines, and... and... and what's-his-name, was featured in yesterday's edition of the Straits Times' Urban pull-out (pages 6 and 7).

As expected, The King's remarks in Urban have raised some eyebrows. The King's cellphone has been ringing off the hook today with people mostly asking the same few questions. Hence, instead of answering another hundred phone calls, The King has decided to clarify some of his words here, only on the Portal for the Self-Absorbed.

"In the gym I'm totally focused - I talk to myself, shut everyone else out, spit on the floor and mirrors."

Everyone has been asking me about this. "Keith, do you really spit on the floor and mirrors?" Well, yes, I did - when I was still training at the ACS Wellness Club (a.k.a. Barker Gym). Before any max lift, I'd wet my hair, do a Triple H spritz, give a battle cry and lift the weight. I still wet my hair and give my battle cry now that I'm training at Optimum Performance, but I hardly do the spritz anymore (so don't worry, Peter).

"I haven't encountered a weight that I can't lift."

The King has something to clarify about that particular quote. In all honesty, that was ripped-off Sam "The Hulk". The King got carried away during the interview and mentioned it in jest, not expecting it to appear. But since it did, then credit should go to The Hulk for the quote. In any case, what The King meant to say was simply that he didn't know the concept of "Too Heavy".

Sure, he's heard plenty of lesser men use it, but he never knew the meaning of those two words. Just like men will never know what it's like to be pregnant and give birth, Keith Wong will never know the meaning of "Too Heavy".

Like always, people ask me about my lifting stats with a mixture of awe and disbelief. Does The King really squat 300kg, deadlift 220kg and benchpress 180kg? You bet your ass he does - and these stats are just gonna go up. It matters not what anyone believes, because strength can't be argued.

A lot of people have also been asking me about my training and diet after reading the article. The King's training and diet will take up a whole other article, besides, Urban isn't a fitness magazine. So, simply put, The King's training and diet can be summed up in two words: "Top Quality".

To be the best, to be King, you have to make sure you're eating huge quantities of top quality food daily, consuming top-of-the-line supplements, training at the best facility in the country, and getting at least 10 hours of quality sleep every night. Otherwise, don't even dream about being anywhere near my league.

Keith Wong would like to extend his heartfelt thanks to QH, who arranged all this and wrote a more than flattering article of Yours Truly. Without a doubt, this will not be the only time Yours Truly is featured in a national paper. Rest assured, my loyal fans, that The King will be appearing in the media again very shortly. That is a guaran-damn-tee. Till then...

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Behold The King... On NutriFirst

Finally, after weeks on eager anticipation (both on my part and the loyal fans'), The King's handsome face is on NutriFirst - Singapore's Largest Online Supplement Store.

Go to NutriFirst.net -> Team NutriFirst -> Team Iron Behemoths.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Behold The King

Greetings my loyal fans,

I am fully aware that this blog has lain dormant for an extended period of time now. There has been some speculation that Keith Wong has lost his fire and his arrogance, that his ego has been bruised after his unexpected poor placing at Strongman 2008 (more on that later). But well, this is the age of the Internet, so don’t believe every rumour you hear.

The truth is, Yours Truly has been busy as of late managing Team Iron Behemoths – negotiating sponsorships, handling publicity, etc. As anyone with half a brain would have figured by now, yes, I am one of the five founding members of Team Iron Behemoths. I am also, along with Sam “The Hulk”, the co-manager of this group.

If you are a wrestling fan, you will know that many wrestlers have used factions to take them to the next level of their career. Just look at The Four Horsemen, DX, Evolution, and even the nWo. As these factions grew in stature and notoriety, so did the individuals that made up the faction. Likewise, Team Iron Behemoths – the biggest, most domineering force in Singapore’s strength sports scene – will make its presence felt, and bring each of its members to a whole new level.

Something has been burning a hole in me ever since the 24th of February 2008 – the day of the Strongman 2008 prelims. It was on that day, that Keith Wong officially became the 18th Strongest Man in the country.

That’s bullshit and it pisses the hell out of me.

If I had lost to people who were stronger than I am, then maybe I wouldn’t be so pissed off. But I did not. Everyone knows that I did not place 18th due to me not being strong enough, or not having enough stamina, or not having used the right kind of chalk. It was one thing and one thing only that screwed me out of placing in the finals (among the top-10), and that is inexperience. I had no experience with the big-ass logs, that’s why I botched the event and plummeted down the rankings. So now, for a whole year, I have to live with the fact that there are at least 8 people who placed above me but aren’t even as strong as I am.

That burns a hole in me and that will only motivate me to train even harder and eat even better just so that next year, nothing will be left to chance as I once again compete to win the title of “Strongman 2009 Champion”.

Currently though, Keith Wong is on a two-week sabbatical; all these months of non-stop, single-minded, hardcore training has left my body in need of a break (some of you might have heard that during the weeks leading up to Strongman 2008 I was training up to 10 sessions a week – that much is true).

In these two weeks, Keith Wong shall be enjoying his time off by going for massages, sun-tanning, visiting the sauna, relaxing in a hot-tub, catching up with the people close to me, and eating a good, clean diet. And when I return to my Iron Kingdom (a sponsored gym if I might add), I shall unveil a new workout and diet routine that will take me to a whole new level of strength.

Keith Wong will be back, and he will be bigger and badder than anyone has ever seen. That is a guaran-damn-tee.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Behold The Behemoths

Introducing:

Team Iron Behemoths: Naturally Strong - the Next Big Thing in Singapore's strength-sports scene. Check out the official blog or our Facebook page for more details.


KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Welcome To The Videos

As promised, here are the videos of Yours Truly in action at Strongman 2008.

The first event of the day: Tyre Flips (260kg X 8 flips). I think the tyre weight surprised many because the website originally stated 235kg. I set a new personal best considering it's heavier than what I was training with.



The Red Rhino pull followed. The 4000kg vehicle looked intimidating at first, but trust me, it was the easiest event. One forward lean and the vehicle moved.



Finally, the event which I screwed up - the Log Walk. The sudden "No Straps" rule took a lot of competitors by surprise, but well, I had trained for it so I wasn't bothered. Frankly the weight (90kg a side) was not an issue - it's the big-ass logs that smash your knees together that is the problem for most people. In the end, it all boiled down to experience, which I obviously lacked as a first-time competitor.



Like I mentioned, the calluses on my left hand were completely torn off during the Log Walk (if you watch closely I tore them around the 00:09 mark of the video), but, like they say, you only lick your wounds after battle.

War Wounds

Here's to the guys that I had the privilege and honour of competing against and alongside at the same time.

Top: KC, Jen and Ben; Bottom: Sam and Yours Truly.

Congrats again to Sam and Jen for qualifying for the finals. Next year, the other three of us will be joining you guys. That is a guaran-damn-tee.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Losing Sucks

As some of you may have heard by now, Keith Wong did not qualify for the finals on 15th March. I placed 18th out of 50. After reflecting on the event, all I can say is that inexperience did me in.

The first two events – a 260kg tyre flip and the 4 ton Red Rhino pull – went pretty well. My timing easily put me in the run to qualify for the finals. However, the last event, the log walk, was where my inexperience showed and made me plummet down the rankings.

The log walk basically required the contestants to carry two 90kg logs – one in each hand – and walk 15 meters. I tried running with the logs at the start, but the big-ass logs smashed my knees, resulting in me dropping them and completely tearing the calluses on my left hand. I picked up the logs, and tried the same thing, and dropped it again. It was only half-way through that I realised that it was better to simply walk slowly and steadily with the logs – which I did and completed the event.

(Check back soon for videos)

Just like Tat used to say, “slow and steady wins the race.” Damn.

But well, at least now I know what to do (and what not to do). I will be better prepared when I make my return next year.

Nonetheless, I’ve said it before: No Excuses. This year’s showing was downright disappointing. I was fully expecting to qualify for the finals, especially after the first two events. I am my own worst critic, and all I can say is that losing sucks. I am bloody pissed off and this has lit an even bigger and hotter fire under my ass for next year’s competition. I will be back in the gym at 6.30 tomorrow morning and you can bet your ass that I will be training hard. No, in fact, I will be training harder, longer, and smarter and eating more and better food for next year’s competition. The King will be back, and he will claim his title.

One prevailing theme today was camaraderie. Not everyone completed the all the events, but everyone had undying support from his friends and gym buddies. I especially want to thank Jen, Ben, Sam and KC for being there; it is an honour to train and compete along side you guys.

Congratulations again to Sam and Jen for making it to the finals. I will be there, front row VIP seats, to show my support and cheer you buggers on. I am counting on either one of you to win it this year and be The Man. And next year, I will beat The Man.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

The Final Countdown

Strongman 2008 is less than one week away. This is what I’ve been training my ass off for for the past year.

Going into the competition for the first time, I have but a slight inkling of an idea of what to expect. I can’t guaran-damn-tee that I’ll win it this year, but I can guaran-damn-tee everyone – friends, fans and haters alike – that Keith Wong will give every fiber of his being to the competition and that there will be no quitting, no surrendering, and no excuses no matter what the outcome.

In the spirit of friendly competition, I wish KC, Ben, Derrick, Jen, Sam, and everyone else competing, the best of luck. But mark my words: Keith Wong is not competing to “try out”; Keith Wong is competing to win.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Strong Beef 2008

Finally, all those months of hardcore, balls-to-the-wall, bar-bending, palm-tearing, deadlift-till-you-can't-stand-upright, squat-till-your-ass-cramps, sometimes vomit-inducing training sessions will culminate as Keith Wong enters his royal ass into the HomeTeamNS Strongman Challenge 2008.

For those of you interested in catching some action, the prelims will be held on February 24, 2008 (Sunday), 10am to 2pm, at Basic Rescue Training Centre (BRTC), which is located at 101 Jalan Bahar.

The finals will be held on March 15, 2008 (Saturday), 10am to 6pm at Toa Payoh HDB Hub.

Wish me luck, my loyal friends and fans.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

The Rare Physical Specimen

Christmas is nearing, and all around we hear about how it is the season of giving. Retailers all over town are harping on this “season of giving” by encouraging you to “give presents” to your friends – presents which you’ll have to buy from them.

In addition, the Ministry of Health is apparently doing its part to get us in the festive mood by sending out brochures about organ donation. In Singapore, one’s organs will automatically be harvested for medical purposes upon one’s death, unless one chooses to opt out of this scheme. These brochures talk about how it is a good thing to give the proverbial “gift of life” to someone else; how apt for the Christmas season.

Of course, The King does not have a problem doing his part to help others. However, by donating his organs, only a select few will be helped. Hence, the ever-benevolent King has decided that – in order to benefit not just these few individuals, but all of mankind – that he would rather have his body donated to a scientific research facility.

The following is a draft of the letter that The King is intending to send to the Ministry regarding his decision to opt out of the organ donation programme.

To: Whom it may concern,

After careful consideration, I have decided to opt out of the automatic organ donation programme.

I have received and read the materials which you have so kindly sent to my Palace, and fully understand the implications of this scheme. However, donating my organs will mean that only a few people would benefit, hence, in order to benefit more people – in order to benefit all of mankind – I have decided that it would be best if I donated my body to a scientific research facility instead to help the advancement of humanity.

I, Keith Wong, am a living specimen. At a height of 5 feet 9 inches, and a muscular 235 pounds, I have the strength of men twice my size, and the speed and agility of men half my weight. Simply put, I am the perfect combination of size, strength, flexibility, agility and speed (not to mention intelligence and charm).

Rest assured that my god-like characteristics are all natural, and not chemically enhanced in any way. There are absolutely no traces of body modifications of any sorts, including piercings, plastic surgery and tattoos. After all, modifying my masterpiece of a physique would be like drawing a moustache on the Mona Lisa; it would be tantamount to vandalism.

Also, my naturally high levels of testosterone has affected every aspect of my life – from the superhuman strength I possess, my drive to succeed, my non-conformist and individualistic attitude, to my unwavering self-confidence. In an age where men are called to embrace their “softer, more sensitive side”, and where metrosexuality is idealised, a testosterone-fulled alpha male like Keith Wong is thought to be from a bygone era. However, evolution has shown that only the strongest will survive; one day, this wimpy mutation of men will die out, but my type – however few there may be left – will survive and multiply greatly.

In addition to my great physical gifts, the Almighty God has also blessed me with a superior intellect. I am a genius, able to calculate and strategise, and arguably one of the sharpest, most creative and witty person around these days. Studying a rare specimen like Yours Truly, who is a perfect blend of brains and brawns, would greatly benefit humanity and ensure its survival in the many eons to come.

I realise, however, that I would probably live till I’m old and grey – which is a very long time from now. Fret not, The King gives his solemn word that he will take great care of himself and that this physical specimen shall still be in tip-top condition for many, many more years to come. That is a guaran-damn-tee.

Yours Sincerely,

Keith Wong
King, Supreme Ruler
The Keith Wong Empire

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Jacked, Not Juiced.

Steroids are the new media buzzword these days. Since the death of Chris Benoit, the media has exploded with one steroid scandal after another. Needless to say, professional wrestling – especially World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) – is particularly attacked and demonised.

This agenda setting by media companies around the world has added even more confusion and spread even more lies about steroids and their supposedly harmful effects.

Without going into too much debate and detail about steroids, their effects and the ethics of it all, what the media reports about the harmful effects of steroids are actually the effects of overdose and misuse of steroids. There are proper ways to use steroids and correct dosages in which to use them.

Steroid use is a lot more prevalent than the general public thinks. Of course, very few users would admit to doing so. Let’s just say that if what the media reports about how harmful and dangerous steroids are were true, the gym crowd would probably be reduced by half by now; not only would serious trainees be dropping dead like flies, but punks messing around in the gym - half-assing their workouts, laughing and monkeying around, distracting other members, etc. - would probably be the victims of "roid rage".

That’s not to say that every jacked guy is on steroids, and neither is every steroid user jacked. Steroids are not magic pills that grow muscles overnight. The user will still have to pay his dues in the gym and watch his diet before he can make any decent progress; pointing the finger and saying “it’s all steroids” is just like believing Michael Jordon was great because his Nikes were some magic basketball shoes.

Yours Truly, at a mere 20 years of age, with his superhero physique and inhuman strength usually seen only in comic books, has been subjected to his fair share of questions about steroid usage. Sometimes, people are simply curious about whether The King is on juice, other times, the accusations just fly.

No matter what someone says, no matter how many drug tests someone passes, people will still believe what they want about whether someone is on steroids or not.

Personally, I have nothing against steroid use, or steroid users for that matter. It’s all a personal choice whether someone wants to use them or not, or if he wants to admit to using them or not. My advice to people wanting to use (or who use) steroids will be that you should research thoroughly about the appropriate doses, what counter-drugs to take, cycling, etc.

For the record, Keith Wong is not on steroids, and never will be. It’s not because I believe they are harmful or anything, it’s simply because I have made it a personal mission to show people that you can have great results even without steroids and other fancy supplements. Keith Wong got big and strong the good, old-fashioned way – hard work and dedication.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous be INSPIRED.

4 Years of Beefing Up: Part II

Nothing good in life comes without making the necessary sacrifices. That is why I don’t stay out late at night. That is why I watch my diet – eating practically the same thing everyday even though I’m sick of it – and abstain from alcohol. That is why I wake up at 4.30 each morning even though I have always hated waking up early.

That is the main reason I took the industrial attachment at my school’s music recording label. For those of you who don’t know, I am currently in my final semester of my Mass Communication diploma course, and we are all required to do a 20-week industrial attachment.

Some of my friends have secured internships at big media companies such as Singapore Press Holdings (SPH) and MediaCorp, some have ventured overseas and – apart from working – are having the time of their lives shopping and visiting the various attractions.

I, however, chose to join the school’s recording label – a job that does not even come with an allowance. I did that for only one reason, that is, so that I can focus on my training for Strongman 2008.

Had I been working for a big company, I probably wouldn’t have the opportunity to train each morning at 6.30 before I reach work at about 9.30 or 10 a.m. Also, at The Label, I have the freedom to eat whenever I want, which means that I can have regular meals; hell, I even have the luxury of eating a whole chicken and peeling and eating my pre-packed hardboiled eggs right at my desk.

Some may question if it is worth giving up a paycheck “just for” training. Well, The King says, “You bet your ass it’s worth it.” Nothing is going to distract me from or get in my way of training for and competing in Strongman 2008. And, as I’m said before, nothing – and no amount of money – is going to be able to replace the gratification and joy of doing what you are most passionate about.

I still enjoy hitting the gym daily and pushing myself beyond what I once thought was my physical limit, and I don’t see myself ever stopping. I see each day in the gym as a blessing, a blessing to be able to do what I love most.

Some people can never understand why I love weight-training as much as I do. Frankly, I can’t explain it either. I could say that I love physically pushing and punishing myself, the muscle soreness, the feeling of the nervous system being taxed and struggling to recover for a couple of hours after manhandling massive poundages, the surge of testosterone and growth hormone I get during and post-training, or the way people stare at my thick, Herculean physique like I’m some sort of freak. But that’s just the icing for me. I don’t train to impress anyone, or for the bragging rights. I do it simply because it’s my passion.

After a mere four years of training, I have learnt that the human body is far more capable than we give it credit for, that I can achieve anything I set my mind to. I am stronger than what anyone thought I could have become, and I’m not even at my peak yet – plus, I didn’t even need anabolic steroids or any fancy supplements to make it this far.

The journey does not end here; in fact, Keith Wong is just getting started.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous be INSPIRED.

4 Years of Beefing Up: Part I

The month of November marks the fourth year that The King has been weight training. It is no secret that lifting weights is the one thing that I am most passionate about. Hence, the month of November will feature a special two-part article dedicated to my weight-training journey thus far.

Since I was a young boy, I have always been impressed by big, powerful physiques. From action stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Lou Ferrigno, to pro-wrestlers like Triple H, The Rock, Stone Cold, Kane and The Undertaker, to comic book heroes like Captain America, The Incredible Hulk, Superman, and Batman – these guys in some way, created in me a longing to build for myself an impressive, strong and powerful physique as well.

In November 2003, at the age of 16, Keith Wong decided to get off his ass and thus, stepped into a gym for the first time in his life and has never looked back.

When I first started out, all I thought about was building a body like Triple H’s. Hence, I trawled the internet looking for past interviews with Triple H, hoping to stumble upon his workout routine. In many articles, Triple H mentioned his bodybuilding background; hence, I spent time researching on bodybuilding and put together my first semblance of a training plan.

When I first started, I made all the mistakes that newbies made. My workouts were haphazard and far too lengthy, I neglected certain body parts and over-trained others, and my diet was less than ideal. However, I still enjoyed going to the gym daily, and in due time, the results came.

As time went by, I started implementing a more focused training plan, started to train every part of my body, and started to watch my diet more carefully. The results were even better. I was happy about looking more and more like Triple H, but I soon realised that rather than building muscles, my passion was actually for the lifting itself – the muscular development that came with it was just one of the “side benefits” to me.

Earlier this year, I attended the finals of Strongman 2007. Initially, I had aimed to join the contest in 2007 itself; however, a lower back injury in late 2006 put those plans on hold. On the day of the competition itself, as I watched the competitors pull cars and flip tires, I knew right there and then that I had to take part in 2008. Hence, I revamped my training plan and started to focus more on strength training – including powerlifting and Olympic lifting – rather than bodybuilding.

I have never been more focused on anything in my life. Currently, I train 6 days a week – gym work from Mondays to Fridays, and strongman-specific training on Saturdays. It never gets tiresome, in fact, I relish every single moment of it. Nothing is ever going to make me give up lifting.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous be INSPIRED.

(Check back soon for Part II)

...And Preparation Continues

Last time, the loyal fans saw The King flip the 250kg tire 8 times. Now, watch as Keith Wong gives it 30 consecutive flips.



KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Royal Deadlifting

Finally... the video you've all been waiting for: Keith Wong The King deadlifts 200kg (440lbs).



KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

The King's Anniversary Address

Two years ago, on the 15th day of the month September in the year of our Lord 2005, His Majesty Keith Wong the King set up the Portal for the Self-Absorbed. Keith Wong has always been a natural show-stopper, a born entertainer who loves the spotlight, a man destined for greatness. Hence, with the boom of popularity that new media was experiencing, it was only fitting that The King made his presence felt in cyberspace.

Keith Wong was never a regular, average guy; he was never one to conform to norms. Since he was much younger, his antics have been garnering mixed reactions, and have raise more than just the occasional eyebrows – most of them have left people not knowing whether to laugh, cry, or curse. Not surprisingly, Keith Wong was never very well liked among the more pious bunch.

When the Portal for the Self-Absorbed made its debut two years ago, The King and his loyal fans knew that it was only a matter of time before the blog caused some sort of uproar. The recent saga is a fine example of the controversy The King is capable of causing.

Keith Wong – never one to shy away from the spotlight – basked in its glory, capitalized on the publicity, and as a result, garnered even more loyal fans and spread his fame even further. Now, it is no exaggeration that my name precedes me wherever I go.

Today, the Portal for the Self-Absorbed celebrates its second anniversary. After two glorious years in cyberspace, after continually amusing and inspiring the multitudes of loyal fans, after verbally laying the proverbial smackdown on the candy asses of the countless Keith Wong haters; after all the havoc and controversy The King has stirred up with his infamous egotistical ramblings and proclamations of greatness, Yours Truly would like to take this opportunity to thank his loyal friends and fans for their undying support. Keith Wong would also like to thank everyone who has contributed any sort of material/content – photos, videos, etc. – to this blog.

Don’t any of you worry, no amount of pressure from the haters will kill the Portal for the Self-Absorbed; Keith Wong is simply too proud to quit, and too tough to die. Keith Wong guaran-damn-tees that he will remain true to the roots of the Portal for the Self-Absorbed and deliver more egocentric, testosterone-fuelled, witty, irreverent, and controversial content that can never be found anywhere else. After all, Keith Wong is one-of-a-kind; he is – as the Team ACS T-shirt slogan goes – “Often Imitated, Never Equalled”.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

... And Preparation Begins

Earlier today, The King headed down to Optimum Performance to practice flipping a tire in preparation for Strongman 2008. Of course, The King made damn sure that the session - parts of it at least - was documented so that the millions and millions of loyal Keith Wong fans have a chance to see Yours Truly in action.

Many thanks to Lee for tips on the technique, and to KC for documenting the session.

(My apologies, loyal fans, but you may have to turn your heads, or your laptops, sideways. Enjoy!)



KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Keith Wong Returns

Finally, after a two-week sabbatical, The King will make his return to his Iron Kingdom at 6.30 a.m. tomorrow.

Over past two weeks, I have been doing plenty of stretching at home and have also been heading down to Optimum Performance to do some self-myofascial release work, which is basically a form of self-administered massage/stretch to release tension deep within the muscle tissue (special thanks to Peter Rouse for the foam roller, and for letting me use the facility).

Now, The King’s lower back is feeling much better – in fact, The King’s entire body is feeling much better than it was 2 weeks ago, and the desire in him to hit the iron is burning greater than ever. It’s time for more bar-bending, palm-tearing, sometimes vomit-inducing workouts that will occasionally leave me unable to walk for the rest of the day.

So prepare the pyrotechnics, The King is back – and he will only be bigger, badder, and better than ever. That is a guaran-damn-tee.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Majestic Modelling

Over the past few months, at least 2 photographers have approached Yours Truly to model for their projects. Keith Wong – never one to shy away from photo shoots – graciously accepted all the offers.

Needless to say, The King's model good looks, plus the skills of each photographer, made all the shoots a resounding success.

And now, my loyal fans, here is a small sample of the multitude of photos taken – only on the Portal for the Self-Absorbed:

Photo courtesy of QH. For more photos by QH, click here.

Photo courtesy of Ade. For more photos by Ade, click here.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Sabbatical

“Even the Almighty God rested after creating the world. What more a mere man like me?”
- Keith Wong, 2006, Keith Wong’s Iron Kingdom.

Don’t get me wrong, God didn’t need to rest. He rested to set an example for us; to let us know that we all need to rest sometimes.

Hence, since Monday, Aug 6, Keith Wong has been taking a sabbatical of sorts.

The main reason for this sabbatical is to let some old injuries – especially my lower back – heal. Four weeks ago, my lower back was acting up more than usual. Being the junkie that I am, I simply ignored it and continued with my workouts. Needless to say, the pain only got worse.

Then last Saturday, after deadlifting, I felt both dizzy and queasy, but I didn’t stop there. I still had 4 sets of pull-ups, 4 sets of bent-over barbell rows, and 4 sets of T-bar rows, so I continued with it and completed my workout. However, after that, I had to sit down in the gym for 15 minutes just to let my head stop spinning. I felt nauseous and giddy for the rest of the day; that was when I decided that it was in my body’s best interest to give it a break.

Most lifters take some time off once every 3 or 4 months; Keith Wong, on the other hand, hasn’t taken a break since coming back from his lower back injury this January. After about 8 months of bar-bending, palm-tearing, sometimes vomit-inducing workouts that occasionally leave me unable to walk for the rest of the day, The King is finally giving his body a well-deserved break.

As I’ve mentioned before, lifting is my drug. I have to get my daily fix or I’ll start getting withdrawal symptoms. Not hitting the iron this past week has already left some sort of a void within me. My body may need time off, but mentally, I’m as fit as ever. This time away from the gym has only increased my insatiable appetite to train.

Rest assured my loyal fans, Keith Wong will be back – that is a guaran-damn-tee. The King will return to his Iron Kingdom come Monday, August 20, 2007. And when he does, he is going to hit the weights with only one objective in mind: To win Strongman 2008.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Game On!

The crowd had gathered and had been waiting for hours in the typical, scorching Singapore weather to catch a glimpse of their favourite wrestler. The MC went up on stage. This was the moment they had all been waiting for.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for Triple H!"

The music hit. "Time to Play The Game!" The crowd erupted as a huge, menacing figure in a DX t-shirt and blue jeans walked out from behind the curtain. Much to the crowd's pleasure, The Game greeted them with his trademark spritz, and his X-salute.

Then, the MC came up on stage and started asking The Game about his thoughts on his match against Batista. Triple H, never one to lack confidence, stated that he has done it all in the business - beating greats like The Rock, Stone Cold, Undertaker, Kane - and that Batista was simply next on that list. What followed was - much to the delight of the fans - a vicious pedigree on the MC's good friend; a small preview of what Batista has in-store for him went he steps into the ring with the 10-time World Heavy-Weight Champion.

Watch the fan videos on Youtube:

Triple H's entrance

The Pedigree

Added July 7th, 2007:

Triple H's entrance (full)

The Pedigree (full)

Article on Channel NewsAsia.com

Fans to pay tribute to wrestler Chris Benoit at S'pore show
By Patwant Singh, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 06 July 2007 2219 hrs

SINGAPORE: Singapore fans will miss WWE superstar wrestler Chris Benoit, who died in the US last week.

Benoit was supposed to perform at the WWE Smackdown SummerSlam Tour at the Singapore Indoor Stadium on 28 July.

While the show must go on, some fans plan to pay tribute to Benoit, and hope other wrestlers performing here will do the same.

Said wrestling fan Keith Wong, "It is a great waste to the wrestling industry because he is such a great wrestler, you don't see that level of wrestling anymore."

For some, expressing their emotions with words will not be enough.

"On the 28th of July when they come to Singapore, my friends and I will be using this band, homemade with the help of my mum. We will support Benoit and carry on his legacy," said fan Muhammad Faiyadz.

Organisers say Benoit's absence has not affected ticket sales, and fans can look forward to a great show. - CNA/yy

Added July 30th, 2007:

Keith Wong is The Game.
Special thanks to Robin for the WWE Championship and Aaron for the D-Generation X t-shirt.

And of course, if you're not down with that, The Game has 2 words for ya: SUCK IT!

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Skull & Wings II

One month ago, the world saw the debut of the Keith Wong the King Skull & Wings emblem. Now, after much buzz and fan speculation, the wait is finally over. Introducing, the Keith Wong the King Skull & Wings t-shirt:

And of course, what would the Keith Wong the King Skull & Wings t-shirt debut be without a picture of The King himself wearing it:

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Strong Beef

Much has been said about the great strength of Keith Wong. It’s no secret that The King enjoys manhandling massive, loaded barbells to the shock and awe of on-lookers.

Now, His Majesty shall attempt to prove his much talked about strength – both to the country and to himself.

Keith Wong hereby announces that come February 2008, he shall enter his royal ass into Singapore’s annual strongman contest, the HomeTeam-NS Strongman Challenge 2008.

As of today, The King shall be lifting his weights, eating his vitamins, and saying his prayers, all with one single purpose in mind: to compete for and win the title of Singapore’s Strongest Man.

Let the bar-bending mayhem begin.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Skull & Wings

It all started out as a rough sketch I did when I was bored. Then I found out that my training partner, KC, had a flair for art.

So I gave him my sketch, and asked him to give it a make over. I told him, "Feel free to make it look more badass." What resulted was a masterpiece of art, one that was most fitting for The King.

Ladies and Gentlemen of The Keith Wong Empire, I, Keith Wong the King, now present to you, the debut of the new, "Keith Wong the King Skull & Wings" emblem:

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Beneath The Beef (Part VI): Looking Back, Looking Ahead

Today, the 21st of April, marks the day which Keith Wong celebrates 20 years on this Earth. Looking back, I don’t think I’ve changed very much.

When I was young, I always wanted to stand out. I always wanted to be first in everything I did. I always wanted to do things my way.

I was always vain. I was the guy who would spend a great deal of time combing his hair when all his other peers simply went to school with bed-hair, still too innocent to know the concept of vanity. I was the guy who would wear a suit (shirt, tie, and blazer) to Sunday school, simply because I wanted to. I was also the guy who would go to the family Christmas party dressed as Batman, even though it wasn’t a costume party.

I never bothered conforming, because, well, conforming just wasn’t – and still isn’t – fun.

Like I said, things haven’t changed much. I still want to stand out, I still love the spotlight, I still want to be the first in everything I do, I’m still vain, and I still do things my way.

I’m the guy who keeps a ponytail just because I want to, because I like long hair. I’m the guy who wears industrial boots when everyone else is wearing sneakers. I’m the guy who hops on stage and tears his shirt off, just for the hell of it. I’m the guy who will do some crazy shit just for shit’s sake.

Looking ahead, things aren’t going to change so much either. I mean, sure, circumstances will change, but Keith Wong will still essentially be the same guy – my character and personality will just manifest itself in different ways. The future is bright – there’s money to be made, medals and awards to be won, fame to be sought, TV shows to appear on, and a book (or two) to be written by none other than Yours Truly.

Keith Wong would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who was along for the ride. Trust me, I said it last year, and it still holds true today, “[The] story [of Keith Wong] is only beginning, and it will only get better as it goes along.”

So, since it’s my birthday and I’m in a celebratory mood, I shall hereby give all of you, my loyal fans, a treat by posting a picture of myself which you will never, ever see elsewhere.

Probably the gay-est picture of Keith Wong, ever

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Beneath The Beef (Part V): Royal Rest & Relaxation

It’s a well-known fact that I workout everyday – waking up at ungodly hours and pushing my body relentlessly in the gym – and that has led some to think that I lead a very active lifestyle. However, in reality, the lifestyle of Keith Wong is very sedentary. Like I’ve told many people before, “I’m only hardworking 2 hours a day – that’s when I’m in the gym. The other 22 hours, I’m just a bloody lazy bugger.”

After an ass-kicking working in the gym, I head home. That’s when the laziness starts. At home, I’m usually either seated in front of my laptop surfing the Internet, or I’m watching wrestling on my plasma-TV in my royal living room.

Even when he’s being lazy, The King is reading about bodybuilding

Occasionally, I might go sun tanning.

Clad only in a pair of black trunks so I can tan as much of my Greek god physique as possible, I usually fall asleep on the bench. About 30-minutes later, I’ll wake up, and then turn myself over so that my massive back gets a tan too. Every tanning session is also followed up by an hour of pure relaxation in the Jacuzzi.

The King sun tanning to enhance the Greek god physique.

In addition, I hate climbing stairs – that includes overhead bridges. It doesn’t matter if it’s climbing up or down, I hate it either way. That’s why I think that elevators are arguably one of man’s greatest inventions.

This laziness might seem somewhat uncharacteristic of someone who works out like a machine in the gym. However, if you think about it, it’s actually perfectly complementary. I work so hard at ruling my Iron Kingdom, thus I have to be lazy when I can. Besides, muscles only grow when they’re resting.

Furthermore, I’m currently bulking up; climbing stairs, walking, or any other physical activity will cause me to burn additional calories – precious calories which are essential for me to put on more monstrous muscle mass.

In essence, my days are simple: wake up, eat, work out, take my supplements, eat, be lazy, eat, be lazy, eat, be lazy, eat again, and then go to sleep. Life is great – when you’re The King.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Beneath The Beef (Part IV): Head Banging & Body Slamming

As a student of the media, The King can’t help but consume many different forms of media. Of course, given all the assignments he has, and given that he is living in the 21st century, Keith Wong obviously uses the Internet a lot. However, in his free time, Yours Truly loves good ol’ head banging and body slamming.

WrestleMania

Everyone knows that The King is a big fan of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE); after all it’s about the only thing he watches on TV given his busy schedule.

Needless to say, WWE entertains me. I love the characters, the violence, the storylines, the heavy-metal entrance themes, and of course all the signature catchphrases and taunts from “Austin 3:16”, to The Rock talking about how he is going to “layeth the smacketh down” on some jabroni’s candy ass, to the DX crotch chop which almost always accompanies the most infamous two words in sports entertainment: “SUCK IT”. In addition, WWE has taught me a repertoire of moves that I can use (and have used) on others during a fight.

More than that, WWE has inspired me. From watching events as grand as WrestleMania, to seeing wrestlers come back from injuries that could have ended their careers, pro-wrestling has inspired me to follow my passions and chase my dreams. After all, one of the major reasons that I started working out was that I wanted to look “that damn good” like Triple H.

The King's favourite wrestler: Triple H

Keith Wong in a Triple H pose behind his impressive WWE Home Video collection.

Metal Militia

As stated before, there is only one genre of music as far as Keith Wong is concerned: Rock music.

As AC/DC put it, “Rock and Roll ain’t noise pollution.” I especially love heavy metal music with plenty of instrumentals (guitar solos, bass solos, etc). Like many die-hard metal fans, I usually listen to old-school bands such as Metallica and Pantera; my favourite being Motörhead.

Also, I don’t care what MTV or anyone else says, but bands like My Chemical Romance, Simple Plan, Busted, Good Charlotte and whatnot are NOT rock bands; and Hip-Hop is sure as hell NOT music.

That's music to The King's ears.

On The King’s iPod:

Motörhead (Speed Metal; they were the innovators of the genre)
Metallica (Thrash Metal; one of the biggest influences on this genre)
Pantera (Thrash Metal)
Guns N’ Roses (Hard Rock / Progressive Rock)
Avenged Sevenfold (Heavy Metal / Metalcore)
Ramones (Punk Rock, in fact, they are pioneers of the said genre)
AC/DC (Hard Rock)
Aerosmith (Hard Rock)

To fully enjoy Rock music, I would recommend you turn the volume up to full. Like Lemmy Kilmister (front man of Motörhead, the band which was in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the “world’s loudest band”) said, “There is something wrong with you if you like quiet rock and roll.”

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Beneath The Beef (Part III): Feeding Time

Greetings, my loyal fans.

After 2 weeks of reading the Portal for the Self-Absorbed write about me, you must all miss my personal unique flavour. Hence, I have decided to resume my writing duties. After all, Keith Wong the King – of all people – certainly doesn’t need anyone else to write on his behalf, especially not when the subject matter is himself.

Now that that’s been said, let’s get back to what you all came to read:

Feeding Time

Eating – and supplementation – is a very important part of how I built (and maintain) my massive muscles. All the training in the world will go down the toilet if a proper nutrition plan does not complement it.

Basically, I eat every 2 to 3 hours, which adds up to 6 to 8 meals per day. Each meal is high in protein, high in carbohydrates, and low in fats.

Now, everyone knows protein builds muscles, so it’s no surprise that my diet is high in protein. A high-carb diet, however, is something most people will tell you to stay away from. But “most people” aren’t as big, or as strong, as Yours Truly, so in future, when you hear such bullshit, do these people a favour and direct them to the Portal for the Self-Absorbed.

Simply put, carbohydrates are what fuel my hardcore, balls-to-the-wall workouts; protein, on the other hand, is what helps me recover from those inhuman workout sessions. A high-carb diet is essential if you want to be like the Big Buff Beef.

Typically, I eat lots of beef, chicken, fish, eggs, tuna, oatmeal, bread, rice, and potatoes. As far as possible, I avoid fast food, fried foods, junk foods, and alcohol. In fact, I am very strict with myself when it comes to alcohol consumption. I may occasionally have a glass or two of red wine (since it has been proven to be beneficial for the heart), but you will never catch me drinking beer or any other liquor. That may sound extreme, but that’s why I have an extremely Herculean physique.

Keith loves beef

Additionally, I supplement my diet with protein and creatine.

After a workout, I consume a scoop of creatine. About 20 to 30 minutes later, I down a protein + Milo shake, which has a total of 60 grams of protein and 50 grams of carbohydrates.

Supplements are just as the name suggests – supplements; they are taken in addition to a sound diet plan, and never in place of one. Supplements aren’t magic muscle builders, and their effects are only seen if they are consumed with proper nutrition. So you can take all the protein powder you want, but you eat junk food and keep drinking, don’t be surprised if the supplements “don’t work”. In fact, I have come across people who take all kinds of supplements – and even anabolic steroids – whose muscles aren’t as dense or as strong as mine simply because they don’t eat and/or train correctly.

Personally, I don’t take anabolic steroids because I don’t feel like I need them. However, I understand their place in sports and it’s perfectly fine with me if anyone wants to (or does) experiment with them – it’s all a personal choice. Remember though, that steroids may help you achieve your goals in a shorter amount of time, but they aren’t magic either; not everyone who takes steroids will become a champion bodybuilder or powerlifter or any sort of athlete for that matter. At the end of the day, it all boils down to a sound diet plan.

Keith Wong’s muscle-building stack: Optimum Nutrition 100% Whey Gold Standard and BSN Cellmass.

Keith Wong’s Sample Diet

(Wake up/Pre-workout meal)
0630: 1 scoop whey protein, iced-coffee with Milo, 1 can of tuna, 2 slices of bread.

(Workout from 9 to 11 am)

(Post-workout supplementation)
1100: 1 scoop creatine.
1130: 2 scoops whey protein with 4 tablespoons of Milo.

1300: 2 bowls of rice, 1 chicken breast, vegetables.

1600: 5 egg whites, 2 packets of noodles.

1900: 1 scoop creatine.

1930: 2 bowls of rice, 1 chicken breast, 1 huge slice of fish, vegetables, soup.

2230: 2 slices of cheese, 6 wheat-crackers, 1 cup of yogurt, iced-Milo.

(Sleep at around midnight.)

That may seem like a lot, but as they always say, “You gotta eat big to grow big.”

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Beneath The Beef (Part II): The Look

One of the main perks of having a Greek god physique is that clothes, in general, will fit you better. Keith Wong, never one to be shy about his Herculean physique, has certainly mastered the art of dressing to accentuate his well-sculpted body.

“There’s no secret formula actually. When you’re as big as I am, all t-shirts just fit you better,” Keith Wong confesses. “I just stick to the basics: tight, black t-shirts, fitting blue jeans; nothing fancy.”

Move over, Purple. Black is the new royal colour. By his own admission, Keith only wears black. “I occasionally wear navy-blue,” he adds. “Ocassionally,” he stresses.

Big Beefy Boots

Unlike most trendy young men who go for Nike, Adidas, Converse, or even Le Coq Sportif, The King chooses to don more unconventional footwear: CATERPILLAR black-leathered, steel-toed boots.

“I love boots. They’re the most comfortable thing to wear.” Keith says. However, comfort aside, there must be more that drives someone to wear industrial boots in everyday life.

“I really don’t know. I just like them. It’s just a preference. Why do you wear shoes?” Keith fires back. “One good thing though, is that boots are broad, which is perfect for me as I have very broad and thick feet. Plus, they’re oil resistant, which means you’re unlikely to see me unglamorously falling on my ass on a rainy day.”

Nonetheless, the Portal for the Self-Absorbed has to admit that those boots really do go well with Keith Wong’s macho man image. Few people can pull off wearing boots, but His Majesty is certainly one of those few.

“Keith Wong is one-of-a-kind.” The King declares in typical Keith Wong fashion. The Portal for the Self-Absorbed couldn’t have put it better.

The King's footwear of choice: CAT Steel-Toed Leather Boots

Luscious Long Locks

Probably one of the most infamous aspects of Keith Wong is his long hair, or – in his own words – his “luscious long locks”.

“I love long hair. Why? Well, I can’t really explain that too,” The King thinks aloud. “Maybe I just watched too much wrestling and got influenced. After all, many pro-wrestlers are big, buff guys with long hair.”

Indeed, one look at the WWE roster (past and present) and one can see how pro-wrestling must have been an influence. Superstars like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, The Undertaker, and Chris Jericho, all have long hair.

“When I started keeping long hair, the first thing my Dad asked me was ‘are you trying to look like Triple H?’.” Keith reveals. “I told him, ‘well, that would be an added bonus’.”

Despite the shampoo-ad quality of his royal mane, Keith Wong prefers to keep his hair tied in a ponytail. “It’s practical,” The King says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Singapore is always warm and humid. It’s more cooling to tie up my hair.”

Keith Wong adds, “Further more, if I let my hair down it would cover my traps. I have such huge, well-developed traps; why the hell would I wanna hide them?” Indeed, it’s all about the muscles.

Of course, grooming his luscious long locks is by no means an easy task. His Majesty has to shampoo and condition it everyday. “It’s no big deal,” He says. “After all, all good things come with a bit of effort.”

Looking the role: Keith Wong with his hair tied back; in black muscle-shirt, blue jeans, and of course, sleeve-ripping biceps.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

(Editor’s note: Next week, the Portal for the Self-Absorbed hands writing duties back to Keith Wong the King.)

Beneath The Beef (Part I): Big Buff Beef

Much has been said about the Greek god physique of Keith Wong. It’s no secret too that His Majesty loves to flaunt his masterpiece of a body. In Part 1 of Beneath The Beef, the Portal for the Self-Absorbed takes you into the Iron Jungle with The King himself to see just how the Herculean physique is built and sculpted.

“I hit the gym everyday from Mondays to Fridays,” Keith says. “Basically I train one body part per day, eventually training my entire once by the end of the week.”

Keith further explains, “I like to train with heavy weights and low reps. I’ll do anywhere from 3 to 10 – but usually 6 – reps per set, with 4 sets per exercise. I’ll do about 3 to 5 exercises per body part.”

“I hate high reps,” Keith adds. “They bore the hell out of me because when I do high reps, the weight is too light so I don’t feel anything on the first few reps; I only start feeling the burn on the 15th rep or so. With low reps, and of course, heavier weights, I feel the muscles working right from the first rep.”

Inside the gym, simply watching Keith Wong workout is in itself a sight to behold. Sweat pours from his forehead and chest, completely soaking his black Ironville stringer tank-top. Veins pop as he pumps out rep after excruciating rep of weights so heavy they bend the Olympic-barbell. The King is panting. He catches his breath and wipes the sweat from his brow. “Feels good, bitch.” He smiles in a somewhat sick fashion to himself. Keith Wong is visibly exhausted, but he is only half-way through his workout.

“When you’re in the gym, it’s all about pushing yourself beyond your limits.” Keith explains.

“True grit, true passion is shown when you’re dead tired, when your lower back is threatening to quit on you, or when your muscles are so numb you can’t even feel them anymore – and you dig deep down into your heart and you find the strength and the will to continue with your workout, and maybe even pump out a couple of extra reps.”

“After all, the strongest muscle in the human body is the heart,” Keith comments.

Wise words from The Ruler of the Iron Kingdom.

Keith Wong takes a sip of water. His bottle reads, “SHUT UP AND TRAIN”. The King points to it, smiles, then walks back to the free-weight area of the gym and continues with his next set.

“True grit and passion” are epitomized the very next day: Keith Wong’s “Legs-Day”.

Legs are Keith Wong’s favourite muscle group to train. Not only were his legs naturally strong (they are still his best body part), but according to The King, legs are his favourite because of how unpredictable they are. “Your legs always surprise you. Just when you thought you’ve reached failure, you’ll find that you can actually do a couple more reps.” Keith reveals.

After 7 sets of heavy squats with 220kg across his massive shoulders, Keith Wong drops to weight to 150kg for a 20-rep-set to burn his thighs.

His Majesty squats deep, rep after painful rep. Keith spits and curses as he reaches his 19th, then his 20th rep. Then he pauses. He stares at his own reflection dead in the eye. “10 more, biatch!” he mutters. 10 reps later, Keith Wong shakes his head, closes his eyes, and pumps out another 5 reps, then another 5. He racks the weight, exhausted. “40-freakin'-reps!” he exclaims triumphantly as he crumbles to his knees. His long hair covers his face, his massive body is drenched with sweat as it trembles from the shock of that excruciating set.

“See,” Keith says while trying to catching to catch his breath. “It’s all about how strong your will is.” Keith can barely stand, and when he does, he is spaghetti-legged. Still, he continues his workout with stiff-legged deadlifts and calf-raises.

It’s no wonder Keith Wong calls himself the Big Buff Beef.

"You don't know jackshit till you shrug"

Keith Wong’s Workout Split

Monday: Chest
Tuesday: Shoulders
Wednesday: Legs
Thursday: Arms
Friday: Back
Saturday: Cardio + Abs
Sunday: Complete Rest

Big Buff Beefy Biceps

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

ANNOUNCEMENT

Greetings my loyal fans,

A new series will soon debut on the Portal for the Self-Absorbed.

Beneath The Beef is a six-part series that will take you behind the online persona of Keith Wong. Beneath The Beef will debut this Saturday, the 17th of March; thereafter, new installments will be posted every Saturday, with it’s concluding installment on the 21st of April – the day which will also mark The King’s 20th glorious year on this earth.

Learn more about Keith Wong’s workouts, nutrition and supplementation, his fashion sense, friends and family and what he does when he isn’t working out or talking about himself. This is the side of Keith Wong you have all been waiting to see.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

200

“Before this night is over, the world will know that few devoured many.”
- Keith Wong, King of the Keith Wong Empire.

And so it was. This past Friday, March 9, 2007, history was made when 7 hungry men headed down to Queensway Food Centre with one purpose in mind: to set a new dumpling-eating record, and to smash our old record of 70 dumplings.

By-standers watched in awe, shock and total disbelief as plate after plate of fresh, steamed dumplings were brought to our table. Even the stall owner herself had to check and re-check with us to make sure her ears did not deceive her.

At the end of the night, after all the hot-and-sour soup had cleared and all that was left was the sesame-oil which prevented the dumplings from sticking together, the (now-not-so-hungry) 7 had set a brand new dumpling-eating record of 200.

Here are the people who made history:

(from left to right) Yours Truly, Bing Xin, Rafikee, the stall owner, Kenneth, John, Kangaroo (a.k.a. Andrew), and Nick.

Here's the best part: at the end of the night, we weren't even full. So we'll be back, and next time, we'll smash the 200-dumpling record with a new one of 400. Keith Wong the King guaran-damn-tees it.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

BIG Time

"The King will be back, and better than ever before; I guaran-damn-tee it".
-Keith Wong (December 26, 2006).

Finally, after 10 long weeks of rehab, the King is back on his throne.

As my back is feeling much stronger than before the injury, I am also pleased to announce the official start of the Bulking Phase.

As of today, 5th March 2007, Keith Wong the King shall increase his food intake, increase his supplementation, and of course, increase the poundages of his exercises. Keith Wong guaran-damn-tees that before the end of 4 months, he will tip the scales at 105 kg (230 pounds) of freaky, massive, muscle mass.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

5 Things You May Not Have Known About Keith Wong

The ever-benevolent King, Keith Wong, knows that his loyal fans simply can’t get enough of him. As such he has taken the time to compile a list of 5 things you may not have known about him.

Little Monsters & Little Keiths

My huge, inhuman calf muscles are affectionately known as “Keith Wong’s Little Monsters”; nickname courtesy of Kelvin David. My beefy biceps have nicknames too – they’re called “Little Keiths”, which is actually a parody of Chen Tat referring to his bulging biceps as “Little Tats”.

“If I die under the weight, I pray the Lord my soul to take”

When I am bench-pressing alone in the gym, I usually say a short prayer before each set. This is because there is always the possibility of the weight crashing down on my throat should I suddenly fatigue during the set – and trust me, no matter how strong I may be, 100-plus kg of steel crashing down on my throat is not something I want happening.

The Trouble With Thick Thighs

My waist measures 32-inches, however, because of my thick, massively muscular 27-inch thighs, I have to wear jeans which are size 38 (“relax-/loose-fit”) in order for me to even be able to pull the jeans past my calves, much less fit snugly over my thighs. To make things worse, in a country like Singapore where most guys have waists the size of my thighs, many brands don’t carry sizes larger than 36, making it especially hard to find the correct combination of colour, cut, design and size for me.

My Favourite Muscle

If you took a look at my photos you’d probably get the impression that I am very proud of my arms. Well, I am. However, the muscles in my body that I am most proud of are actually my thighs: (sure, it’s hard to find jeans, but) they each measure 27-inches and they’re capable of lifting more than twice my bodyweight. The thing is, the arms are the easiest muscles to show off – all I have to do I bend my arm and out pops my bicep, straighten my arm and out pops my tricep. If I wanted to show off my thighs I’d have to pull my pants down, which means that my thighs won’t be the only big muscles that I’ll be showing off. I know many of you would love to see that, but still, I would have to politely decline.

My Own Inflatable Cushion

Due to the great muscular development in my upper-chest, I have my own inflatable cushion whenever I sleep sitting up (like in the car, public buses, in lectures, etc.). How do I do it? I simply squeeze my pecs together, and my upper-chest puffs up. Then, I rest my chin on my (very comfortable) “cushion” and I fall into sweet slumber.

Of course, Keith Wong is far too unique to be described in a single post, hell, not even this web log can contain me. The mysteries of Keith Wong are simply too deep to all be unraveled online. There’s only one way to know more about me, and that is to get to know me offline, like how certain very fortunate (and treasured) individuals do. If not, then you can always settle for reading the Portal for the Self-Absorbed.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

The Return of The King

Keith Wong will make his return to his Iron Kingdom on Monday, January 8, 2007.

After two long and depressing weeks of inactivity, the doctor has finally cleared me for training. He has advised stretching and light weight training.

Just the thought of going back gives me goosebumps. Words cannot even begin to convey how badly I miss the smell of iron, the muscular aches, and the indescribable pleasure working out gives me. This is one weekend which I hope ends as quickly as possible; I have never looked forward to a Monday as much as I do now.

When I return, I have decided that I will still train with my usual heavy weights, just that I will not be doing exercises that put tremendous stress on the lower back such as squats (my all-time favourite), deadlifts, bent-over rows, T-bar rows, and barbell presses and shrugs – all of which happen to be exercises which I particularly enjoy. I will only resume those exercises in about 3 or 4 weeks with light weights, before slowly adding back the poundage to what it once was. In addition, I will be wearing a thick leather weightlifting belt to brace my back. I will also start on my own rehab programme with a variety of exercises to strengthen the lower back and core in general.

It’s just a matter of time before I deadlift 160kg and squat 210kg again. It's just a matter of time before The King goes back on his throne.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Keith Wong's New Year 2007 Address

Keith Wong, King of the Keith Wong Empire will now deliver his New Year 2007 address.

Greetings my loyal fans,

Firstly, allow me to apologise for not getting this address up earlier; I know many of you expected to read this at about 12MN yesterday. But, well, it’s still New Year’s Day, so it still counts for something.

2006 Reflections

2006 has been a rollercoaster of a year – it went by real fast, with many ups and downs, and most of the time I was just living on adrenaline.

The year started off on a low, with the death of Kelvin David. Looking back, his death has taught me many valuable lessons in life, one of which being to treasure those around me more and to say what I want/need to say before it’s too late.

In addition to that, I’ve experienced another 2 deaths in 2006 – one being that of David Moses (Kelvin’s dad), and another being the death of the grandfather of a very close friend of mine. This has got me thinking a lot about death, and life.

2006 has been a great year in terms of my relationships with the people I hold dear – my friends and family. I’ve grown a lot closer to so many people and I am eternally grateful.

With regards to school, my course this year has been a blast. Although I was slogging my ass off, I enjoyed (almost) every moment of it. It was great fun working with a bunch of immensely talented people like QH, Nat, Dian, and Tiff.

As it pertains to bodybuilding, I entered 2006 with a lower back injury which I sustained in Nov 2005. The first couple of months of 2006 were spent rehabilitating my lower back and getting myself back to 100%. After which, I focused on getting leaner. It pleases me to say that by the end of 2006, my muscles are more well-defined, with only 9% body fat, as compared to 11% in 2005. Unfortunately, 2006 ends with me sustaining yet another lower back injury.

2007: The Year Ahead

So what does 2007 hold?

The biggest thing weighing on my mind right now is the fact that Kenneth will be leaving to further his studies in Australia. (For those of you who don’t know, Kenneth is my tag-team partner, my best friend for 7 years. We are closer than brothers. In fact, we are so gay that I got him a very pretty flower for his birthday and he got me a Barbie doll for Christmas.)

Kenneth will be leaving in June 2007 and he will be in Australia for 7 years. I know many people drift apart when they’re separated by such distance, but believe me, Keith Wong and Kenneth Ho are not regular people; we’re not regular best friends. I guaran-damn-tee that I will do my damnest to make sure that we don’t drift apart.

In terms of bodybuilding, I had initially intended to start on my second bulking phase in February 2007, during my 8-week semester break; my target was to increase my weight from 90kg to 105kg. However, due to my lower back injury, the first few months of 2007 will have to be spent in rehab, and the next few months will have to be spent maintaining my weight, because my lower back will probably not be able to take such rapid weight gain when it has just recovered. The earliest I can start bulking up will probably be August 2007, which will be around my next 8-week semester break. But mark my words, the end of 2007 will see much bulkier, and massively muscular Keith Wong.

Of course, 2007 holds also more awesome workouts with my favourite workout buddy, The Star, Ong Chen Tat. You can bet your ass that we will only get bigger and badder.

No one really knows what 2007 will hold for us. Personally, I don’t know what exactly 2007 will hold, I just know that many surprises (pleasant, and otherwise) lie ahead. 2006 has been a great year; 2007 will be even better – I just know it.

Happy New Year, my loyal fans. Have a great 2007.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

I'll Be Back

It is with much disdain and displeasure that I make the following announcement:

I, Keith Wong, am injured.

Last Saturday, while deadlifting in the gym, I heard a “pop” sound in my back. I immediately dropped the weight; then for the next 2 minutes or so, I was just lying on the floor, unable to get up. Now, I walk around like a freaking duck; sleep also eludes me as I awake from the intense pain each time I turn in bed.

This injury is certainly worse than the first. According to the doctor, I have a severe sprain, and have torn the ligaments in my lower back. I have been prescribed anti-inflammatory drugs and have been told to completely stop weight training for at least 2 weeks.

In my own estimation, it will be at least 2 months before I will attempt any heavy lifting again, and even then, I will have to start with light weights and re-condition my lower back muscles to perform such lifts.

Just knowing that I will not be training is already eating me up inside. I’m having withdrawal symptoms as it is. I’m like an addict in cold-turkey without his drug (or, to help some of you relate better, it’s like having your girlfriend go for a very long holiday in some isolated region of the world, where you can’t communicate with her in any way).

But fret not, Keith Wong may be down, but he is sure as hell not out. The road may be long and arduous, but mark my words: I will return to my Iron Kingdom, and I will go through my rehab and I will get better. It is only a matter of time before The King goes back on his throne. And once I’ve re-established my monarchy, I will only get bigger and better.

The King will be back, and better than ever before; I guaran-damn-tee it.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, my loyal fans.

Beef up your desktop this festive season with this exclusive "Keith Wong: Lean & Mean (Christmas Edition)" wallpaper.

Simply click on the image, let the full-scale version open in your browser, then right click and choose "set as desktop background".

Once again, Merry Christmas.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Keith Wong's Iron Kingdom

Greetings my loyal fans,

Much has been said about how much I love bodybuilding, and how I love to torture myself in the gym. Today, The King takes all of you through a pictorial journey into his Iron Kingdom.

Warning: Physical punishment ahead. For sado-masochists only.

My favourite exercise - 200 kg barbell squat, biatch! Just look at the bar bend from all that weight (and check out the guy in the background looking on in awe).

160 kg deadlift.

160 kg deadlifts - mid-lift. Yes, the pain on my face is real; it's THAT excruciating.

120 kg beefy benchpress.

Lat pulldowns to enhance my V-tapered physique.

Even the Almighty God rested after creating the world. What more a mere man like me?

Tricep kickbacks for thick, chunky arms.

Barbell curls for bicep peaks that would shame Mount Everest.

Leg presses.

Big buff beefy biceps.

Weights make me mean; cardio keeps me lean.

Frankly, all the heavy lifts like squats and deadlifts already make my abs rock solid. Crunches just make them more well-defined.

A whey protein shake after a hellacious workout. See my smile? It says I'm a sick S.O.B. for enjoying all the pain I put my body through. No pain, no gain, no Greek god physique.

Of course, I couldn't have taken all those pictures myself. Here's a big, beefy "Thank You" to my personal photographer - my younger brother, Lionel Wong.

This is him goofing around with my weight stack.

As you can see, my loyal fans, my Iron Kingdom is a place of hardwork and dedication. There's no messing around, no slacking; just pure, unadulterated grit. I walk in with a single purpose everyday: to push my body beyond my physical limitations, and slowly sculpt and better my Herculean physique. Believe me, I will only get bigger, better, and badder day by day. Oh it's true, it's damn true.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Buff Beef Shakes His Booty

Last Friday, Ngee Ann Polytechnic’s School of Film & Media Studies organised a freshmen 100th-day celebration at Fort Canning Park called Pop at the Fort. Unfortunately, despite all the publicity and hoo-ha, the event did not live up to the hype, at least not entirely.

You see, Keith Wong, being the gracious and benevolent King that he is, graced the occasion and saved the Pop at the Fort from turning into the Flop at the Fort with his antics.

The night was slow and mundane, when the emcee called for people to go up on stage. I was “volunteered” up on stage by certain members of my entourage, and when I was up there, the emcee said that I had to use my sexy, beefy butt to spell “Film and Media Studies”.

Of course, the emcee tried to seize the opportunity to get my pants off, however, The King decided against that. The fans – and the emcee – were disappointed that they would not get to see my bazooka, however, I changed all that when I suggested a great alternative – I would take my shirt off.

The emcee turned to the crowd and asked (rather rhetorically), “who wants to see Keith Wong take his shirt off?” The crowd screamed at the top of their voices at the eager expectation of seeing the much-hyped Greek God physique of The King. Feeding off the energy of the crowd, I ripped off my muscle-tee, and the crowd went even wilder. After a brief posing routine, the emcee couldn’t wait any longer and requested that I shake my beefy booty. Much to the pleasure of the crowd, I turned around and shook my ass to Nelly’s “Hot in Herre”.

The crowd was wild throughout the entire performance, and after the royal ass shaking was over, The King got off stage to a raucous ovation.

(Watch the Highlight of the Night on Youtube: Video 1, Video 2)
(Alternatively, you can view them at You be Jackin')

Right now, The King would like to thank all the loyal fans who cheered him and chanted “Keith the King” while he was on stage. It was a pleasure entertaining all of you. The King would also like to thank QH for capturing parts of the show-stopping performance and uploading it on Youtube so that any of the loyal fans who unfortunately missed it can now watch the most talked-about event of the year.

Needless to say, I’m Keith Wong, and you can expect me to top this performance with something else. What that is, and when that will be still remains uncertain. What you can be certain of however, is that you wouldn’t want to miss the next one, because The King will give all of you a show you will never, ever forget. Why? Because I can. And you all know that I always live up to the hype.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Keith Wong Says

Hear ye! Hear ye! His Majesty Keith Wong the King, Ruler of the Keith Wong Empire shall now address some pertinent issues in his Kingdom.

Firstly, the issue of bragging. Many peasants have expressed their disdain at my constant proclamations of greatness. Well, Keith Wong says, it ain’t bragging if you can back it up. And yes, I back up everything I say, so how then can I be bragging?

In another related issue, some of my subjects have suggested that I tone down the egotistical ramblings. However, Keith Wong says that self-promotion is absolutely necessary. If you don’t toot your own horn, no one is going to do it for you. This will cause you to be deemed insignificant and thus, be overlooked by others. Hence, it is of utmost importance that one learns to confidently promote him/herself, and then back up all his/her claims (otherwise it would merely be bragging).

The issue of music is a very subjective one. From Metallica to Eminem to F4, all these bands/artists are deemed to produce music. As far as Keith Wong is concerned, there is only ONE genre of music, and that is Rock (which includes, but is not limited to: Heavy Metal, Speed Metal, Alternative Metal, Punk, Rock ‘n’ Roll, Grunge, etc.) Bands/artists that Keith Wong recommends are: Metallica, Motörhead, Aerosmith, Creed, Alter Bridge, AC/DC, Bullet For My Valentine, The Ataris, Breaking Benjamin, U2, Guns N’ Roses and Steve Vai.

Moving on, the Health Promotion Board (HPB) has been running a “Healthy Lifestyle” campaign for many years now. Of course, The King is an advocate for a healthy lifestyle. However, The King, in all his authority, does not see eye to eye with the HPB on all matters, especially with regards to BMI. For the benefit of those who live under a rock, BMI stands for Body Mass Index and is calculated by dividing your height (in meters) over the square of your bodyweight (in kg). An “acceptable” BMI, according to the HPB, is 23.5. Of course, the BMI should only be applied to “normal” people; athletes, especially bodybuilders and powerlifters, tend to have naturally higher BMI simply because of the amount of muscle mass their bodies carry. Personally, I have a BMI of 32. If I had a dollar for every time some uneducated commoner tells me that my health is in grave danger because of my “obesity”, I’d be a bloody billionaire. Now, obesity indicates a body fat percentage of more than 25% and 32% in men and women respectively. Although my BMI is 32, my body fat percentage is only 9% (FYI: The average, regular human male has a body fat percentage of between 18% to 20%). As far as Keith Wong is concerned, BMI stands for Big Muscle Index; the higher the index, the better.

Since we are on the subject of health, allow me to address the issue of anabolic steroids. Anabolic steroids are performance-enhancing substances. Although I do not condone its use, I understand its place in sports. After all, who doesn’t want to have an advantage over his opponents? Some believe that if they had steroids they could look like Mr. Olympia too. That’s bollocks. These people don’t even have half the dedication that that Mr. Olympia contestants have; they should just stop making excuses for their lack of hard work. Also, contrary to popular believe and speculation, I, Keith Wong, do not use steroids. But thanks for thinking so.

Still on the topic of health, alcohol consumption is another issue of concern. Due to the adverse effects it can have on my training (i.e. decreased strength and endurance, increased fat storage, hindrance of protein synthesis, etc.) I personally do not drink, however, I can understand if people do and I do not condemn them. The worrying thing is that people associate alcohol with manliness. Well, Keith Wong says, muscles maketh a man. When you are as muscular as I am, you don’t need alcohol to prove anything.

Many fans have also asked me if I will ever get a tattoo; some even suggested that I get one since I will look good with it. Well, tattoos are a form of body art, and my body is already a work of art. Just like drawing a moustache for Mona Lisa, tattooing The King’s well-chiseled, masterpiece-physique would not be art, it would be vandalism.

Finally, the notion that bodybuilders have small penises is downright untrue. Bodybuilders, because of weight training, actually produce more testosterone than the average human male, so how can they have small dicks? Personally, not only do I have big guns (gym jargon for arms), I also have a big bazooka (if you have to ask what that is, then you don’t have to know)!

That concludes my address for today, my loyal fans. I bid you farewell until next time, when more issues arise in the Keith Wong Empire.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

A Special Preview

Appearing soon in all leading local fitness magazines:

(A4 sized, Full Page Advertisment for Optimum Nutrition)

Optimum Nutrition 100% Whey Gold Standard and other products are available at all GNCs. Alternatively, you can click here to order it online.

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Portal for the Self-Absorbed: One Year On

Today, on the 15th day of the month September, in the two-thousand and sixth year of our Lord, the Portal for the Self-Absorbed celebrates one glorious year in cyberspace.

Join me now as, I, Keith Wong the King, take thy loyal fans through some of the articles published the past year.

Let’s start at the very beginning.

In my first entry, I stated, “The difference between ME and the others [i.e. other bloggers]? Well, I am upfront in admitting that YES! I AM FREAKING SELF-ABSORBED! I LOVE MYSELF! Oh Hell Yeah!” That set the tone for the most notoriously egotistical blog of all time, which delivered in a way only Keith Wong could have.

My next 2 entries (The Road Less Traveled, Good Things Come To Those Who…) were motivational articles. They were merely things I thought about and felt had to get off my chest. Looking back, they seem more suited for Beefing Up: Keith Wong's Guide to a Better Physique rather than the Portal for the Self-Absorbed, but at least it gave the fans some insight into the mind of Yours Truly.

Pain. I loved that article. It showed the fans what a sado-masochist I am for constantly putting my body through so much hell and enjoying every moment of it. This article garnered many interesting comments, one in particular, being from QH, which read, “Keith, you’re freaking scary. Sinful as this may sound, this post really makes me wonder how sex with you would be like, man. Not that I’m aching for it, no pun intended, but I just wonder if you'll like handcuff the girl or tie her to the bed posts or something like that.” (To answer that question, Keith Wong says, “Well, there’s only one way to find out”.) Another ingenious comment left by an anonymous fan simply read “Ouch”.

Next, I posted an article titled “Poly vs. The World”. In it, I touched on how poly students are being unfairly stigmatised and how Ngee Ann Mass Communication students are so fondly hated. Some ass-clown actually had the nerve to re-butt my well-written argument. He said,

“Honestly, poly students may get a taste of the real world. But in JC, we take subjects which requires (what poor grammar!) a lot of analysing, evaluating and solving which will come in handy in future. Do managers in big firms have the technical skills? Not necessarily. They are usually uni graduates with a mind which has undergone rigorous thinking and analyzing, transcending their own mental ability, allowing them to be great problem solvers which then places them in the cream of society in the administrative field. Poly students? Yeah sure they are offered jobs but what jobs? Not the job in the big office signing papers and predicting possibilities should they sign a contract. Jobs which require skills, which is assigned to them by the manager.”

Obviously, whoever wrote this must have had his head up his ass when he did. Not wanting to disappoint my loyal fans and feeling compelled to stick up for all poly-students, Keith Wong the King dignified this insolent fool with a reply:

“‘They are usually uni graduates with a mind...’

That's right! UNI GRADS! NOT JC GRADS, DUMBASS. Did I say that a diploma was all there was? NO! Of course a degree holder will most likely get a better job than a diploma holder. My point is that JC doesn't do shit for you; your A-Level cert is inferior to a diploma. With an A-Level cert, all you'll be doing is making coffee, buying lunch, filing and photocopying papers. With a diploma, you can actually get a decent job that pays you well enough for you to put food on the table. So until you actually get a degree, don’t go round bragging about JC, because a JC education and a degree are 2 entirely different things. It’s because of narrow-minded individuals like yourself that equate a JC education with a getting a degree that such unfair stereotypes against polytechnic students exist.

Allow me to reiterate: A JC EDUCATION AND A DEGREE ARE TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS! If you can't even grasp such a simple concept, then don’t you dare talk smack about having “a mind which has undergone rigorous thinking and analyzing, [and] transcending [your] own mental ability, [and being a] great problem solver...” much less the “cream of society”.”

It’s sad how some lowly peasants try to flaunt their “intelligence” just to let everyone know how full of crap they really are.

Some time later, I posted an article titled “Thank You, Lord”. This article was written out of gratitude for everything God has so graciously bestowed upon me. Its purpose was not only to publicly express my thanks, but also, hopefully, to get people thinking about what God has blessed them with and start being grateful for it.

In December, I wrote an article titled “Abnormal”, which basically gave the fans further insight into the kind of freak bodybuilding has turned me into. That article was written at a time when many people were questioning me and asking me why I did what I did. It was also a period where I sacrificed a lot of time I could have spent with my friends for my training. Of course, The King holds all his friends dear to his heart, and they are definitely more important to him than lifting weights; but then again, one must make time to train, and sometimes, unfortunately, that time cuts into the time that I would love to spend with my friends. Like I said in that article, “Who likes telling their peers they can't hang out just because they have to go the gym ALONE?” That article was me saying, “Hey peeps, I love to spend time with you all, and I really value your friendship, but you must know that I’m not a normal guy; I’m abnormal, and I just can’t hang out as much as I’d like to.” (Thank God my friends are an understanding bunch!)

Towards the end of December, another article was published which set the tone for 2006. In that article, I also announced the debut of my second blog, Beefing Up: Keith Wong's Guide to a Better Physique. The reason I decided to start that blog was because a lot of people were asking me pretty much the same questions regarding bodybuilding and health and fitness in general. Thus, Beefing Up was set up to answer those questions and inspire people to get in shape.

January 2006 kicked off with the launch of Beefing Up: Keith Wong's Guide to a Better Physique. Shortly after that – due to a sudden stroke of genius at 3-plus a.m. – Keith Wong posted a poem, titled, “The Keith Wong Era”. It was a perfect display of how versatile my ingenious mind could be. As I often say, Keith Wong is a man of many talents. Oh, it’s true, it’s damn true.

Then, tragedy struck. I lost a great friend, mentor, and brother of mine – Kelvin David. As a result, I dedicated an entry to him to celebrate his life and to let his already inspiring life inspire people one more time. When I started the Portal for the Self-Absorbed, I told some friends of mine that there will never be any sad, sappy stories on my blog. Some think I broke that promise when I wrote about Kelvin, however, just to clarify things, that entry was not meant to sadden anyone, rather, it was written to honour Kelvin and like I mentioned earlier, to inspire people.

About 2 weeks later, Keith Wong was back and the fans got their first glance of greatness as I posted my first picture on the Portal for the Self-Absorbed. Of course, the millions and millions of loyal fans could not get enough and – being the benevolent king that I am – I followed up with another pictorial post.

February saw the debut of the short-lived Blog Wars between Luke Wee and Yours Truly. In retrospect, it probably never lasted because our blogs were so different; there was no real “war” going on as we were both on different playing fields.

Valentine’s Day rolled round quickly and with it came the entry that some describe as the “epitome of self-love”. When I wrote it, I had intended it as a ‘bait-and-switch’ article. I would bait the readers into thinking that I indeed had a girlfriend, but then switch at the end to reveal that the object of my affection was none other than myself. Hell, even some of my closest buddies were baited, only to murmur 3 very-apt words when they finally read the end: “What the f***”. Words simply cannot do it justice, so click here to read that entry again.

In March, Keith Wong the King finally satisfied the curiosity of his loyal fans and published the etymology for his infamous slogan “Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED”.

March also saw the first hints of the Keith Wong haters (who later read the archives and left more snide remarks in earlier entries as well). I posted a baby photo of myself posing beside a bodybuilding poster, with the caption “…Who would have guessed back then that this would so accurately foreshadow the future?” An anonymous ass-wipe then called me a “pudgy fairy boy” and challenged my claims to having a Herculean physique. How sad that he did not even possess the intellect of a 3-year-old to know that my “Herculean physique” was in reference to my physique at this point of time (year 2006) and not the picture which was taken about 18 years ago (1988).

Then, The King discovered a great online flash game called “The Maze” and he issued an open challenge to anyone who could beat his high score. Of course, that was a cruel joke on my part and The King would now like to apologise for any screaming, squealing, uncontrollable swearing, sweaty palms, hair-pulling, panic attacks, heart attacks/failure, foaming-at-the-mouth, falling-off-the-chair, recurring nightmares, or any trauma of any sort cause by The Maze.

Of course, the highlight of April was the joyous day that was my birthday. On that day, I wrote an article chronicling the “different eras of Keith Wong”. It was a mini-auto-biography of sorts, but like I said, “This story [i.e. the story of Keith Wong] is only beginning, and it will only get better as it goes along.”

In June 2006, the most controversial article to date was written on the Portal for the Self-Absorbed. It was an article on some of the nicknames and monikers of Keith Wong. 2 anonymous jack-offs posted some irreverent remarks which sparked off a whole chain of loyal Keith Wong fans and friends to rally together and barbecue the backsides of the Keith Wong haters. I’ve said this before, and The King will now say it again: from the bottom of the heart that is beneath all that beef – a big, buff, “Thank You” to everyone who had my back.

Then came the Hungry Ghost Festival. This – together with all the superstition that came along with it – caused The King to address the issue of superstition in the most irreverent, witty and entertaining way.

In August, the loyal fans, together with the rest of the Internet community, finally got a glimpse behind the online persona of Keith Wong when the Portal for the Self-Absorbed secured the exclusive interview with none other than the founder of this blog, The King himself, Keith Wong.
Finally, for the viewing pleasure of my loyal fans, I posted screen shots from a video that I had the privilege of starring in: Beefing Up. Following which, I posted a link to Beefing Up on YouTube.

The Portal for the Self-Absorbed would not be as great as it is today if it weren’t you, my loyal fans. It has been one hell of a ride; thanks for coming along. I, Keith Wong, King of the Keith Wong Empire, hereby gives his solemn word that the Portal for the Self-Absorbed will stay true to its roots and will continue to deliver witty, entertaining, egocentric ramblings in the way that only Yours Truly can. Why? Because I’m Keith Wong, bitach!

KEITH WONG. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Back and Buffed Up: Beefing Up: Keith Wong's Guide to a Better Physique

Greetings my loyal fans,

After a long hiatus, Beefing Up: Keith Wong’s Guide to a Better Physique is back and buffed up with 7 new articles.

Proper Form: Benches, Squats and Deads

Proper form is the key to maximizing your gains and staying injury free. This article discusses the proper lifting technique for the 3 most common mass/power builders in bodybuilding and powerlifting – the bench press, squat, and deadlift.

Bodybuilding for Beginners

So you wanna be a bodybuilder? Well, good choice. Keith Wong shows you how to get started. This article provides a routine plus diet advice.

Basic Weight-Training

Keith Wong provides a 3-day-a-week basic weight-training programme for anyone and everyone who is interested in getting in shape.

Planning a Routine

Want to hit the gym but not sure how to get started? A workout routine is of utmost importance when it comes to bodybuilding and weight training in general. A planned workout routine keeps your strategy for achieving your bodybuilding/fitness goals in check and gives you focus and direction in the gym. This article provides some insights and general guidelines on how to plan a workout routine.

Martial Arts vs. Fighting: The Difference

Martial Arts is the expression of the human body; fighting is merely a form of aggression and violence. Sadly, many people don’t understand the difference. This article will provide some insights on why the 2 are completely different.

PowerBuilding: Incorporating Powerlifting into Bodybuilding.

Ever wondered how the physiques of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jay Cutler and Ronnie Coleman look so hard and dense? Well, these guys have incorporated powerlifting exercises into their bodybuilding routines. This article will show you how you too can achieve a physique that screams raw power.

Accessories: Are They Really Necessary?

You may have at one time or another encountered people who have used accessories such as straps, belts and wraps when lifting. Some people may even have told you to get some for yourself. But are they really necessary? Keith Wong gives his take.

Go check out Beefing Up: Keith Wong's Guide to a Better Physique now and start on your journey to a healthier and fitter you.

YouTube Beefed Up

Finally… after weeks of anticipation,

Beefing Up has been uploaded on YouTube!

Due to YouTube’s regulations on file size and maximum video length, Beefing Up has been split into 3 parts:

(click here to watch the videos)

Beefing Up (Part I): The Interview Segment

This is the interview segment where Joe and I discuss about my training, diet and my own inspiration.

Beefing Up (Part II): Weight Training Demo

In this segment, I flex my Herculean muscles and demonstrate different basic weight training exercises as Joe tries to follow along.

Beefing Up (Part III): Weight Training Demo (Continued)

This is the continuation of weight training demonstration. Of course, I never disappoint, and the video ends in typical Keith Wong fashion.

Anyway, I shan’t say anymore; I’m sure the suspense is killing all of you. Go watch it NOW!

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Beefing Up: Screen Shots

Greetings my loyal fans,

I have taken some screen shots of Beefing Up and they're here for your viewing pleasure, only on the Portal for the Self-Absorbed.

Interview segment where I talk about my training, diet and my own inspiration.

Joe and I in our workout gear.

Demostrating dumbbell benchpresses.

"No, no, no. Not those weights, Joe. You don't wanna kill yourself on your own show."

Joe is inspired by my Greek god physique.

Joe and I flexing our triceps.

Joe decides to try out the "big weights".

He gives up and goes back to the puny weights.

Bicep curls by Yours Truly.

Joe's turn at bicep curls.

A final shot of the both of us as Beefing Up wraps.

As you can see by now, Beefing Up has lived up to its hype. Like always, I have backed up everything I said about how good the show would be. For those of you who've had the privilege of watching it, I'm sure you had a great time marvelling at my Herculean physique and my witty remarks (and probably Joe's unique outfit).

For those of you who have yet to watch it, you can ask me for a copy of it, or you can always catch it on Campus TV (CTV) in Ngee Ann Polytechnic (check back here regularly; a link will be up as soon as I upload the video on Youtube.)

Keith Wong. Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Keith Wong: The Exclusive Interview

On September 15, 2005, the blog realm experienced the debut of one of its most controversial forces. Keith Wong the King set up his very own blog, titled the Portal for the Self-Absorbed. Since then, his witty commentary, peppered with sarcasm and egotistical proclamations of greatness, has garnered Keith Wong two distinct groups of readers – his “Loyal Fans” and the “Keith Wong Haters”. However, love him or hate him, you have to admit that Keith Wong is truly one-of-a-kind.

Now, after almost a year of dominating the blog realm, Keith Wong is finally going to give us a glimpse into that ingenious mind of his, and take us behind the online persona into places where few men dare tread. The Portal for the Self-Absorbed has the exclusive interview.

Portal: Let’s start with the basics. What’s one hidden talent you have?
Keith Wong: Well, I wouldn’t say it’s hidden, but as far as this blog is concerned, I’ve probably never mentioned it before. It’s drawing. I used to draw a lot when I was younger, and I always got into trouble with my parents for drawing all over my textbooks. I drew mainly superheroes, my favourite being Batman.

Portal: Do you still like Batman?
Keith Wong: Sure! I still have a bat-insignia mounted on my wall. It’s from the 1989 Batman movie. And I’ve watched Batman Begins at least 10 times.

Portal: Wow, way to go, fan-boy. Okay, You’re a bodybuilder. What’s your daily routine like?
Keith Wong: I go to the gym everyday, from Mondays to Fridays; I rest on the weekends. I’ll wake up at 5 in the morning, have breakfast, then hit the gym by 6:45 a.m. or so. I’ll workout for about 2 hours before going to school. Then I’m either in school or doing projects for the rest of the day. I’ll sleep by 1 a.m., then wake up at 5 the next morning and the cycle repeats itself.

Portal: That’s nuts. So do you have some special diet?
Keith Wong: Yeah, I basically eat a lot. I eat every 2 to 3 hours, so that amounts to about 6 to 8 meals a day. I’ll eat high-protein, high-carbohydrate, and low-fat foods. My diet consists of chicken, beef, fish, tuna, eggs, nuts, rice, potatoes, bread, cereal, granola bars, vegetables, fruits, yogurt; no junk food like potato chips, cake, ice-cream, fried foods. No alcohol.

Portal: No alcohol?
Keith Wong: Absolutely not.

Portal: Do you go clubbing?
Keith Wong: On occasion. But I don’t drink at clubs. Not even soft drinks. I only drink water. Anyway I very seldom club, hell, I seldom even go out.

Portal: So you don’t have a life?
Keith Wong: This is my life!

Portal: That’s insane.
Keith Wong: Well, there’s a fine line between insanity and dedication.

Portal: Okay, so you’re dedicated. But what inspires you? I mean, what’s your motivation for subjecting yourself to this… this… this… torture?
Keith Wong: I really don’t know. I just love it so much I can’t put it into words. It’s just passion. Bodybuilding, to me, is an addiction, like a drug. I've been hooked ever since I lifted my first weight.

Portal: So what got you started?
Keith Wong: Well, growing up, I’ve always been impressed by big, muscular guys. You know, guys like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Triple H, and the like. There was always a powerful presence about them that really impressed and inspired me. I always wanted to be like them. One day, after my ‘N’-Level Exams in 2003, I decided to join the school gym since I had so much time on my hands. And well, as they say, the rest is history. I have never looked back since.

Portal: Do you intend to ever stop? Like maybe when you’re older and graying?
Keith Wong: No, actually I intend to the strongest and fittest senior citizen around in future. I don’t intend to stop. I don’t care what happens. I’ll go the gym even if I were wheelchair-bound. The only thing that would stop me is paralysis, or if I were in a coma, or if I were bed-ridden, or dead.

Portal: Alright, on to other things. Ass-kicking. You said, and I quote, “Why don't you watch your own ass as it gets inducted into the Keith Wong Kicked My Ass Club. Believe me, in that club, you'll never feel lonely, because the members in there are countless, and many more will be graciously inducted as time goes by.”
It seems like you’ve kick a lot of ass. Tell us more.
Keith Wong: Okay, let’s start at the beginning. When I was four, this six-year-old kid bullied me. He took my toys and shoved me to the ground. I went home and complained to my dad. He told me I must learn to stick up for myself. He taught me how to execute a front kick and throw a proper punch. The next time I saw that boy, he tried to bully me again, and I kicked his ass. I remember kicking him in the balls then punching him silly. Since then, I’ve face all sorts of people. Big guys, small guys, fat guys, guys faster than me, guys stronger than me, guys more skillful than me. I’ve faced them all and I’ve beaten them all. I have knocked people’s teeth out, broken noses, broken ribs, and knocked people out cold. So people may think I’m bragging when I say I can kick anyone’s ass, but what they don’t realise is that my track record justifies my claims. To put it simply, I’ve been kicking ass since I was four-years-old, and I have kicked a lot of ass.

Portal: Damn. Moving on, tell us, why do you write what you write?
Keith Wong: Well, it’s quite simple. It’s because I can, biatch. I have been blessed with great wit, creativity, and good lingustic abilities. Why waste it? Furthermore, I don’t want my blog to be just a conventional one. I’m Keith Wong, I’m unconventional, and my blog should reflect that.

Portal: So do you actually sit down and plan what you want to write?
Keith Wong: Well, everything comes with a little bit of planning. But if what you mean is that do I spend hours pondering how to best be unconventional and creative, then no. It comes naturally. I always have some thoughts – sick, creative, or otherwise – swirling in my mind. When I blog I simply pool all the best ones together and write an article.

Portal: So why do you think “Keith Wong Haters” exist?
Keith Wong: Well, I write what people only think of at the back of their minds, and these thought don’t usually see the light of day. People hate me for bragging about myself, for being irreverent, for not conforming to the norm. They see someone like me, and they get all self-righteous and start leaving all sorts of sanctimonious platitudes on my comments page. But the truth is, they wished they could be as bold as me. They wished they could write what I write and say what I say – too bad they don’t have the credentials to back up what they want to brag about. They wished they had enough love and confidence in themselves to be as happy as I am to be me. They’re just jealous.

Portal: So how do you deal with such negativity?
Keith Wong: Well, I don’t lose sleep over it if that’s what you’re asking. It doesn’t affect me. Negativity only fuels me. It just encourages me to stay true to the roots of this blog. This is great because it appeals to my loyal fans, it gives me satisfaction, and it pisses off the haters.

Portal: But does it piss you off? The haters.
Keith Wong: Not really. I don’t feel pissed; I just feel that it’s a pity sometimes that people are so stupid. I mean, people accuse me of being egotistical, but the fact that they have to make their presence known by trying to flame me on my own blog shows just how egotistical they are too. And people can be so cowardly sometimes. They leave their insults, and their longs lectures about how I am so full of shit, but they dare not leave their names. I have always hated cowards. I was raised to be a man; that means having balls. If you dare to insult someone, if you dare to say, or even insinuate, that you can – or would like to – kick his ass, then you damn well do it to his face. In the case of the comments page, you damn well leave your name.

Portal: So what do you think appeals to your loyal fans?
Keith Wong: Firstly, like I’ve said before, what I write are things that don’t usually see the light of day. I think it’s a release for people. It’s like watching Stone Cold beat the hell out of Vince McMahon. You always wish you could beat your boss up, but you know that would get you in deep shit. Then you see someone beat the crap out of his boss and humiliate him publicly. And you want to watch that because you’d never get a chance to do that in real life. Secondly, my blog is unconventional. People are always looking for something new, and they’ve found it here. And of course, lastly, I write with great flair and wit, why wouldn’t people want to read it? I mean, even the haters keep coming back for more, much less my loyal fans.

Portal: So what you’re saying is…
Keith Wong: People either love me, or love to hate me.

Portal: But why do you do what you do, or write what you write?
Keith Wong: Because it’s who I am. And also because it amuses people; I like amusing people.

Portal: Finally, the question everyone wants to know the answer to. Who is the real Keith Wong?
Keith Wong: Basically, the real Keith Wong isn’t as self-absorbed or as flamboyant as this blog may portray him to be. If I say anymore, I’ll be breaking kayfabe. There’s only one way to find out more, and that is to get to know me personally, offline.

Portal: Alright, we’ve come to the end of our interview. Anything else to say before we end off?
Keith Wong: To my loyal fans, thank you. Rest assured I’ll continue to stay true to the essence of this blog and entertain you in a way that is uniquely Keith Wong. To the Keith Wong Haters, I’ve just got 2 words for ya, courtesy of D-Generation X: Suck It.
And of course, like how I end all my other articles: KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Beefing Up: The Live Recording

Greetings my loyal fans,

This Thursday, 10th Aug 2006, will be the live recording of Beefing Up.

Beefing Up is THE fitness show hosted by Joseph Davies and starring yours truly, Keith Wong.

Come watch as I demonstrate a few basic bodybuilding exercises for beginners. Watch me talk a little more about my own inspiration, training, and diet. Then watch in awe as I spit out witty catchphrases and flex my well-chiseled, Herculean muscles.

Beefing Up is a show you don’t want to miss.

Details
Venue: Block 52, Level 9, TV Studio
Ngee Ann Polytechnic
Time: 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.

Be there!

Superstition

It’s the Hungry Ghost Festival (a.k.a. 7^th Month) yet again in Singapore. Apparently, during this month, the gates of Hell are flung open, and the ghosts are allowed to roam the human realm for reasons which still elude me (a holiday of sorts maybe?). This year, however, due to some sort of leap year / leap month in the Lunar calendar, the period of this - as Kelvin used to call it - "haze and ailment-inducing festival" is 2 months instead of one. That’s two months of incense and paper burning, two months of superstition, two months of holiday for the undead to haunt us.

Superstition and fear run rampant throughout this period. I’ve heard so many different superstitious “theories” that I don’t know whether to tremble, cry or just laugh at the absurdity of it all. But of course, being Keith Wong, I think I’ll just be irreverent.

I’ve been told that if you look in the mirror first thing in the morning, you’ll see a ghost. Of course, it’s taboo to say “ghost” during this festival, so people usually say something along the lines of, “Don’t look in the mirror first thing in the morning, or you’ll get a shock / see something you shouldn’t see / scare the hell out of yourself / etc.” I’ve also heard that it’s “bad” to sleep beside a mirror. Let’s look at this logically. Firstly, if you look in the mirror first thing in the morning, chances are you will see a ghost; only that the “ghost” would not be a floating white figure, it would be you and your – to quote QH – “very bad breath, gummy eyes and mismatched underwear”. Add that to your messy hair, and the fact that you had just awoke, damn, that must be one hell of a scary sight.

Of course, being the narcissist that I am, I have a full-length mirror mounted on the wall beside my bed and I simply love looking in the mirror first thing in the morning. Why? That’s because I haven’t had food for the past 6 hours or so, thus my body is especially lean. I can see all my veins and my abs are more cut and well-defined. Good morning, Sexy Beef! That’s what I call starting the day right! I look at my reflection and admire my Greek god physique and flex my huge, bulging muscles. I am so absorbed in my own muscularity that gummy eyes and bad breath don’t even matter. Have I ever seen a ghost? Hell no! He probably got scared shitless when he saw my well-built, Herculean physique that he went back to Hell voluntarily before I had the chance to send him back there myself.

I’ve also heard that you should be careful when you walk about at night and avoid stepping on offerings or into piles of ash. If you do step into something you shouldn’t have, you had better apologise, otherwise, the ghosts might get offended and they might haunt you. Oooh, scary!

Let me tell you something. In case, you don’t already know, I’m Keith Wong, biatch! I’m not scared of anything or anyone – dead or alive or holidaying in the human realm. The only thing I’m “scared” of is that all the burning of offerings at the bottom of my block will eventually lead to me getting some terminal illness or cancer of some sort. What I’m “scared” of is stepping into a pile of ash or some candles and ruining my favorite pair of Nike cross-trainers (believe me, when I step into a pile of ash, I say a lot of colourful things, but “sorry” certainly isn’t among them). What I’m “scared” of is having ash fly into my room and I having to clean that crap up. What I am “scared” of is me smelling like smoke because so many people are burning paper offerings below my block.

Superstition is just a load of crap. For those of you who actually believe it, well, that’s your choice. You have your reasons for believing and I shan’t comment further. As for me, I’ll just be irreverent say “screw superstition”.

KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Nicknames

Throughout the years, I, KEITH WONG, have used many different monikers. These nicknames usually represented an extension of myself, or a certain characteristic of myself, at that time. Now, let’s take a look back at some of these nicknames, what they meant, and how they came about.

The Great One
This was probably the first nickname I gave myself. I can’t remember how I came up with this, except that I had (and still do have) a huge ego. Over time, 2 other variations surfaced: Greatness Personified and The Personification of Greatness.

The King
Of course, being The Great One wasn’t enough. In 2002, I crowned myself The King. This is a moniker that has stayed with me up to today and is probably one my most commonly used. It is incorporated into my name in different ways, such as: Keith Wong the King, King Keith, His Majesty Keith Wong the King, or simply, Keith the King. Variations of this moniker include: The King of the World and The King of the Universe.

Beef
This nickname was given to me by one of the guys in my clique (I can’t exactly remember who; it was either Kenneth or Rafikee, maybe even Luke). It is a very appropriate nickname for me for 2 reasons. Firstly, “Keith” rhymes with “Beef”. Secondly, “beefy” is an adjective used to describe a big, usually muscular, guy; since I am big and muscular, it obviously is very apt. This nickname probably has the most variations: The Buff Beef, Big Beef or Big Beefy, Big Buff Beef (which is one of my favourites because it is catchy and alliterated, and describes me very accurately), Sexy Beef, Big Sexy Beef. Sexy Beef was inspired by WWE Superstar Chris Jericho, who commonly referred to himself as a “sexy beast”.

Cow
Rafikee used to call me “Cow” back in Secondary 1. This was because one of my pet-phrases at that time was “Your mother is a cow”. Rafikee, for the lack of a better nickname, thus began calling me “Cow”. Of course, he switched to “Beef” soon after “Cow” died down (yes, pun is intended).

The Bull
This has no relation to “Beef” or “Cow”. My Taekwondo Instructor gave me this nickname a long time ago. It refers to my simplistic, no-nonsense, brutish, smash-mouth style of fighting.

Serial Killa
According to Tat, the guys in the ACS (Barker Road) Waterpolo Team call me “Serial Killa”. Apparently, they say I always look intent on killing someone, especially when I’m working out in the gym.

Wobby
Ade calls me “Wobby”. I frankly have no idea why, but I think it has something to do with how I like to wobble my head like an Indian.

Tarzan
QH dubbed me Tarzan. Hell, there’s even a song for this particular nickname.

“Keith Wong is handsome,
Keith Wong is strong.
He’s really cute
And his hair is long.”

That was adapted from the Tarzan and Jane song by ToyBox (a now defunct band). The original lyrics were “Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan…” So yeah, I guess you can now see why QH calls me “Tarzan”.

The Name Says It All
Of course, my greatness is unsurpassed, and no nickname will ever be enough to encompass all my unique characteristics and personality. When you’re as great as I am, The Name itself simply says it all: KEITH WONG. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

The Long Road Back

I stared at the bar. There it lay, on the floor, as if taunting me. I walked over, gripped it securely, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. With every fiber of my being, I grunted and deadlifted all 150 kg of that damn thing off the floor. I set it back down and deadlifted it for another 2 reps. And then for another 3 sets. After the last rep of my last set, I was too weak to even move. I just knelt on the ground, hands still clasped tightly around the barbell, my entire body still in shock from all the weight it had just hoisted. All that went through my mind was, “Damn, it’s good to be back”.

7 months ago, I severely injured my lower back while doing squats. I was warming up with 120 kg when I felt a sharp pain in my lower back. However, being the “warrior” that I am, I decided to push through the pain and continue training. I completed the rest of my leg workout – squats, calf-raises, leg presses, leg extensions, leg adductions and abductions – and even did my scheduled cardio and ab workout, all the while ignoring my lower back’s plea to stop. Of course, I had no idea at that time as to the severity of my injury.

The next day, I could not even get out of bed, much less go to the gym. I just lay there, as if paralysed. My lower back hurt so much that I had to lie in bed for almost an hour before I could roll off it. When I stood up, a sharp pain just shot through my back. The pain was so intense that I let loose a whole series of profanities. For the next three weeks, I had trouble moving – my back was so painful it even hurt whenever I sneezed or coughed. Needless to say, I did not go to the gym at all during this time.

For 3 months after that, I had to wear a thick, leather weightlifting belt to brace my back while working out. I also had to stay away from many of my favourite exercises such as squats, calf-raises, barbell shrugs, deadlifts, bent-over barbell rows, T-bar rows, and all ab exercises.

After this, I decided it was time to start on my own self-designed rehab programme. I stopped wearing the weightlifting belt and started slowing incorporating back the exercises that I had stopped doing since my injury. I had to start very slowly. I was using only one-quarter, sometimes one-fifth, of my usual amount of weight, just to get the muscles used to the movements, practice and perfect my form, and also to slowly strengthen the muscles again. Believe me, that really killed my ego. I had to keep telling myself to proverbially leave my ego at the door and think of the big picture, which was recovery. It was really hard at first. My core had weakened significantly, so much so that my bench presses decreased by about 15 kg. I thus trained my core 3 times a week, doing different exercises for the abs and lower back. On top of that, I did hyperextensions everyday to re-strengthen my lower back.

Eventually, after about 3 months on this rehab programme, I was lifting all my usual heavy weights again; I even increased the poundage for some exercises. However, the “usual weight” for my deadlifts – I was easily deadlifting 150 kg before my injury – still eluded me. Week after week, I lifted with all my heart and might, but I simply could not surpass 140 kg. My lower back, though recovered, was still not as strong as it had been.

But it all changed last week. Last week, I felt good and decided to try deadlifting 150 kg. I slapped on the weights and psyched myself up. There was some doubt in my mind at first as to whether I could complete even 1 set of 3 reps. However, after the first set, some of that doubt went away. The last (i.e. fourth) set was both physically and mentally excruciating. I could feel my entire body trembling from the strain of it all, but I knew I had it in me to complete all 3 reps, so I pushed myself and I did complete all 3 reps.

This injury has taught me several things. Firstly, good form while lifting is of utmost importance. If you screw up your form, you could screw up your body as well, just like I did my lower back. That is why I always emphasise the importance of perfect form. Some people think that I am anal, however, that’s a small price to pay if it means avoiding a severe injury. Secondly, listen to your body. Sometimes, it is alright to stop and go home if you feel you cannot complete a workout due to a possible injury. There’s a fine line between being a warrior and being an idiot. I was an idiot that day for “pushing through the pain” – which actually only aggravated the injury – and it cost me. After all, it was only a training session and not some tournament which I had trained many months for and I could just leave it all in the ring and then take my time to recover. More than anything, I learnt the importance of having the desire.

In 2001, WWE Superstar Triple H tore his left quadricep muscle completely off the bone but returned to the ring better than ever before after about 10 months of hellacious rehab. He had this to say, “If you have the desire, you can come back from just about anything. How bad do you want it? What sacrifices are you willing to make?” There were days when I felt like giving up. There were days that I felt as if I would never recover. There were days where I’d look in the mirror and see myself lifting much less than my “usual weight” and I’d wonder when I’d ever be as strong as I was before. There were demoralising days where I tried to increase the weight but my lower back would cry out in pain and I had to lighten it. It was during these dark days that I remember the words of The Game. I would ask myself, “How bad do you want it, Keith?” The answer I got inside my head every time was the same, “More than anything”. So I pressed on and kept my mind on the goal, which was to recover. I refused to entertain any negative thoughts. In fact, I used the negativity to fuel my desire to get better.

Last week, after I had completed my last deadlift, I knelt in front of the weight, hands still tightly clasped around the bar, sweat pouring from my head, my body still in shock and unable to move from all the weight it had just hoisted, I felt like it had all paid off. All those months of rehab, all the days in the gym battling the negativity in my head, all the time spent working towards this one goal. Every second of it was all worth it. I’m finally back to where I had been, in fact, I’m now mentally tougher.

Damn, it’s good to be back!

(Note: I've posted a more detailed article on my rehab on my other blog, Beefing Up: Keith Wong's Guide to a Better Physique. Click here to read it.)

The Different Eras of Keith Wong

Today, Yours Truly, Keith Wong, celebrates nineteen wonderful years on this earth. These nineteen years have been eventful and now, let’s take a moment to look back at the different eras of Keith Wong.

Super Villain / Super Hero

In my kindergarten years, I was one hell of a mischievous little imp. I got into all sorts of trouble imaginable. I peed all over the school toilet floor for fun, I demanded Brovil with my porridge and a cup Ribena instead of water on the first day at nursery, I beat up older kids, I threw a classmate into the bathtub during playtime, I called my Chinese Language teacher “Lao Terh” (which means old pig in Hokkien) instead of “lao shi” (which means teacher in Mandarin), and did so many other things that I hardly have space to write it all down. I misbehaved so much and so often that I was sent to the principal’s office practically everyday – she would use a ruler to strike my palm, but it had no effect on me; I just kept laughing. I even prank called the police so many times that they sent a warning letter to my house. Each time I called, it would be the same thing:

Me: Hello, may I speak to Commissioner Gordon, please?
Police: Errr… who’s this?
Me: This is Batman. The joker’s on the loose.
(Following which I would put the phone down and start laughing my butt off.)

I was also obsessed with Batman at that time. I had all the Batman figurines and accompanying accessories, Batman comics, a whole collection of Batman cartoons and movies, a Batman logo (which is still on my bedroom wall, by the way), Batman birthday cakes, and even a full Batman suit complete with the mask, cape, breastplate, cuffs, utility belt, a long-sleeved turtle-neck pullover, and black pants.

My obsession with Batman, and neck for mischief continued well into my lower-Primary school years.

School Terror

In Primary school, I was THE school terror. Not only was I always up to mischief, but I also had a reputation for beating people up. When I was in Primary 4, I beat up a Secondary 1 student for trying to bully me. But it didn’t stop there; I had a very short fuse and would beat people up for the slightest reasons. When the victims’ parents came to confront me, I told them to tell their respective sons to “learn not to mess with the wrong guy”. I was so feared and my reputation was so widespread that even the teachers told my father that I was The School Terror.

My terrorizing ways continued into Secondary school, however, I have mellowed down significantly – now, I’ll only beat the crap out of someone if he really pushes me too far or if he throws the first punch.

Rugger

When I entered Secondary school, I joined the school’s rugby team. I was full of zeal and was crazy over rugby. I attended all the trainings, read rugby magazines, wore my jersey even outside of training, and just basically talked about rugby all the time. My thigh and calf muscles developed and blew up dramatically from all the scrums and sprinting.

Then, in June 2001, due to excessive training, I severely strained the ligaments in my ankles and I had to retire from rugby.

Injured & Inactive

For almost 2½ years, I did very minimal physical activity. I would still go for Taekwondo classes, but even then I did not go all out during training for fear of straining and re-injuring my ankles. I also started to gain weight and ballooned from 70+ kg in June 2001 to 96 kg in early 2003, following which I somehow managed to maintain my weight at 96 kg until late 2003.

I was also just drifting through life day by day. Being in the Normal (Academic) stream, I was constantly stigmatized. There was also no challenge because all I had to do to go to the next level was to pass 3 subjects at the end of the year. I wasted my time away, just taking each day as it came, drifting along aimlessly. Fortunately, I was protected by the bubble of being a student, and I got by.

Awakening

In November 2003, after my ‘N’-Level Examinations, I started going to the gym. Through intense weight training and cardio, and watching my diet, I began to lose weight. By the start of 2004, I weight 88 kg and was much more tone. In the few months that followed, I gained another 2 kg of muscle mass and maintained my weight there for the rest of the year. At this time, my workouts were rather “experimental” – I was merely trying all sorts of different routines to see which one would best fit me.

My passion for Taekwondo and martial arts were also renewed. I pushed myself much harder during trainings and would not give anything less than a 110% effort.

Then I heard about a course called Mass Communications which was being offered at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. I thought it was an interesting course and started to find out more about it. I discovered what a popular course it was and how only a select few made the cut. However, I was undeterred. I realized that I could not just waste my time away anymore, and that nobody was going to give me any handouts. I decided that I needed to reach out and grab what I wanted. In fact, something in me that had lain dormant for far too long awoke – the drive to succeed. I decided that I really wanted get into the Mass Communications course, and I worked my butt off to make sure that I did well for my ‘O’-Level Examinations so as to secure a place for myself in the course. To cut the long story short, I eventually got into Mass Communications and have been in the course since May 2005.

In early 2005, I had a really long break because I had just finished my ‘O’ Levels and was waiting for my Mass Comm. course to start. After much research and experimentation done in 2004, I decided to radically change my bodybuilding routine. In fact, I even started on my “bulking phase”, in which I gained 10 kg of muscle in 10 weeks.

Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Now, I have turned my life around. I have proven to everyone that a tub-of-lard can turn himself into a lean and mean muscle man with 9% body fat. I have proven that a guy from the Normal (Academic) stream – whom everyone stigmatizes as being hopeless – can get into the most sought after and elite diploma course in the country and actually do well there. I have proven that if you have the desire, and if you make the necessary sacrifices, your dreams can come true.

Would I change anything if I had the chance? No. Why? Because everything happens for a reason; if I did change anything, I probably wouldn’t be who I am today.

I thank God for everything – my friends, my family, for blessing my bodybuilding and martial arts endeavors and my studies – and I have faith that He will continue to see me through this life.

On this day, in the two thousand and sixth year of our Lord, on the twenty-first day in the month of April, Keith Wong celebrates nineteen great years of his life. This story is only beginning, and it will only get better as it goes along. As the old cliché goes, “You ain’t seen nothing yet”. Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

The Maze

Hello, my loyal fans.

After about a month's absence, Keith Wong is back!

Now, it's well documented how steady my hands are - that's why I never lost a game of Jenga in my life. Well, recently, I've found a game online that tests just that. The link is below; simply click on it and go play. If you're good enough, and you get a high score at the end, you'll get to see my name under the Hall of Fame when you're done. If, by some fluke of nature you DO beat my high score, then come back and post some comments on the comments page.

Have fun, and let's see if there's anyone good enough to dethrone The King.

Play The Maze

The Boyhood Dream

This was taken in 1988. I was only about a year old. Who would have guessed back then that this would so accurately foreshadow the future?

Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Etymology

“Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.”
– Keith Wong

A lot of people have asked me where I got this tag line. They have asked if it was original.

It is.

I was with my friend, Chen Tat, after our work out one day in early 2005. Flexing my muscles, the following conversation ensued.

(For those of who don’t know, Chen Tat is my good friend and gym partner. He’s a very accomplished sportsman, excelling in the sports of water polo and track and field.)

Me (flexing my biceps): Hey Tat, nice right?
Tat: NO!
Me (laughing): Jealous, is it?
Tat: Your birdie!
Me: Why be jealous? I’m just trying to inspire you.
Tat: Ok. Shut up.
Me: Don’t be jealous, Tat, be inspired.

And thus, The Phrase was coined. The phrase that would go on to inspire and at the same time, piss off many people. The phrase that has really rubbed salt into wounds yet motivated others. The phrase that has been both loved and dreaded by many. The phrase that is uniquely Keith Wong.

So what does The Phrase mean? When is it used? Well, it’s dedicated to all those whiners out there who see success and instead of being inspired by it, become bitter and jealous about it. I’m sure you’ve come across people like that. They see a guy with a Ferrari and say “he must feel really insecure”. They see pro-athletes and go “these guys are over-paid”. They see a successful young man and accuse “he must know the right people”. They see someone score on a test and mutter “you got lucky”. They see someone with Armani sunglasses and infer that he must have really ugly eyes. They see a strong man and think “he’s all brawns and no brains”. They see bodybuilders and stereotype them saying “bodybuilders have small penises.” Simply put, these people are the sour grapes. They want what they can’t have and seeing others having it just doesn’t sit well with them. They become jealous and start bitching and complaining instead of actually getting off their asses and working for what they want. It’s when you meet these losers that you shoot them this phrase: “Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED”.

On another level, it also reminds us not be jealous of others. When we see success, we should use it to motivate us and push us further. We should not be jealous when others succeed; we should be inspired. That’s another way to look at The Phrase.

It’s not just a bunch of flamboyant, witty words. It’s not just some catchy tag line to be used loosely. It’s a phrase with much deeper meaning. It’s a phrase that serves to motivate, to inspire. It’s a phrase that carries a lot of truth.

Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED.

Valentines' Day

Happy Valentines’ Day, my loyal fans. I love all of you and want to thank you for all the love you have shown me.

I’m sure all of you are expecting me to write about how Valentines’ Day is so over-rated and basically just shit on the whole idea of Valentine’s Day. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but this year, I’ve actually found meaning in Valentines’ Day.

Today is the day of Love, and, after much deliberation, I have decided to take this time to express my love and affection for the one special person in my life.

I fell head over heels in love with you the first time I saw you. You were created flawless – from your gorgeous body to your long locks, from you great wit and intellect to your humorous disposition – everything about you was perfect.

I think about you every waking moment; and dream of you when I sleep. You consume my thoughts. I do everything I do for you. When I wake up at 5 a.m. to hit the gym, I think of you and it becomes worth it. In the gym, when I feel weak and have no more strength to lift the weight, I think of you and I reach deep within me to find ounces of strength that I never thought I had. When I run, and I feel like giving up, you pop into my head and push me not just to persevere, but also to increase the intensity. Day after day I go to the gym and punish my body; it wouldn’t be possible without you spurring me on. When I question myself “Why do I put myself through such physical torture?” , the only reason I can come up with is you. You are the reason for all the sacrifice. You are the reason for everything I do. You are the reason for everything I want to be.

I want to thank you for your undying love. You were always there for me. You believed in me even when everyone else thought I was a goner. Had you not been there, I may have actually proved them right. You saw something in me that no one else did, and you gave me a chance to be more than I could have ever dreamed. 5 years ago, if I told anyone I would be in the most elite diploma course in Singapore, that I would have such a well-muscled physique, people would laugh. But you didn’t. You never looked down on me, you never bought what others said, you always believed in me. You gave me the guts to dream big, and the passion and perseverance to achieve those dreams. You made me see why life was great. You made me realize that I shouldn’t bother what others thought, as long as I did myself no wrong. You thought me self-respect and how to love myself. What a fool I have been in the past; I did not really appreciate you for such a long time.

I love you for all you’ve been, for all you are, and for all you will be to me. I love you for being here through it all. I love you for being the truly unique individual that you are; you are one of a kind. I love you for being what only you can be. I love you for being me.

I love you, Keith Wong. Always.

(picture courtesy of Avril)

Happy Valentines' Day, my loyal fans.

Yet Another Test

Ok, maybe I'm just too bored. Screw it! Anyway, I went back to the same site and I took another test, titled "If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?"

Well, here are the results.

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh. You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum. Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

Well, it is quite accurate. I am after all known to have a very dark, sick and twisted, sense of humour (to say the least). But then again, I'm too damn unique for such a general test to put me into a box.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

I got this off Joan's blog. It's "The World's Shortest Personality Test". Seriously, it's freaking short. All you have to answer is one question. Amazingly, it's quite accurate (of course, I'm too damn unique for such a general test to put me into a box, but hey, that's why I said it's quite accurate).

Anyway, here are the results.

Your Personality Profile:

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

Well, like I said, it's quite accurate (it doesn't say that I LOVE MYSELF). Go try it out, just for fun.

Picture Time

I got these pictures (the first few anyway) from Jared. I was suppossed to scan them and send them to Kenneth and Rafikee, but I haven't seen them online so I decided to post the photos here so that they can download it in their own time. (Aren't I thoughtful?) As for you, my loyal fans, just take it as a great, rare opportunity to see pictures of the Great One when he was younger and had short hair.

Charlotte and I (taken by Kelvin, 2004)

A few pics of Rafikee (WOW Camp 2002)

Here's a nice pic of my Barker clique, with Kelvin and Wenjie, taken at WOW Camp 2003. (From left: ME, my pet bitch Frank the Pug aka Casey, Wenjie, Kangaroo aka Andrew Tan, Tat, Kelvin, my Tag Team partner Kenneth, and my pet monkey Rafikee)

I was so sexy. Now, I'm even sexier!

This is obviously not from Jared. I just love myself. (Why do think this is the Portal for the Self-Absorbed??)

The fruits of my labour in the gym. Great, wide lats. Sexy V-taper.

The Champ is here! Keith Wong, World Heavyweight Champion.

"Egotism Epitomised".
-Luke Wee, 2006

Be Inspired

It is said that a picture paints a thousand words. I'll let today's picture speak for itself. (Photo courtesy of QH)


Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED!

Kelvin David: 25 November 1977 - 13 January 2006

This entry is dedicated to Kelvin David.

Kelvin passed away on Friday, January 13, 2006.

Kelvin David was my DG (Discipleship Group) Leader since I was in Secondary 2 in 2001. At that time, he was co-leading with Wee Teck. The following 2 years, he was my DG Leader as well. In 2005, I once again had the great privilege of being in his class. During this time, we, as a DG, grew really close to each other. We would go out for breakfast together, sometimes have lunch together, go for movies, and also had many barbecues together. Kelvin showed genuine concern for us. He knew what sort of issues we faced as youths and he always thought us how to handle it in a Christian way. His trademark line was, “Don’t just skimp the surface, guys. You have to dive deep into the Word of God.” He bonded with us in a way no other DG leader had. He was a mentor, an older brother and a friend.

In early 2003, Kelvin was diagnosed with having advanced pancreatic cancer. The doctors gave him 6 months. By the grace of God, he lived strong for another 3 years.

These past 3 years were the most fruitful years of Kelvin’s short life here on earth. He had a heart for God; he wanted to be living testimony for Christ. He spread the word of God fervently – he gave his testimony regularly in church to praise God for His grace, he shared his testimony at St. Francis Methodist School, he went to cancer wards to share the gospel, he made countless friends from all over just so that he could share the Good News with them.

Cancer never got him down. He only got stronger. He never blamed God, instead, he asked God to take him and use him as a testimony to reach others. He thanked God for his “unique” circumstance. I remember him saying “I’d much rather have cancer and have Christ, than not have cancer and not know Christ.” Despite cancer, Kelvin appeared more joyful than many others. That was only because he had God inside him, and that he knew that God was using him to fulfill His divine purpose.

For the most part of the time between 2003 to late 2005, Kelvin was as upbeat and cheerful as he always was, perhaps even more cheerful. He would still have breakfast with us, chat with us and even had barbecues with us. He was still be up to all his usual crazy antics, from dubbing Amos “The Green Turban” to joining me and my tag-team partner Kenneth in sabotaging Rafikee, Chen Tat, and even Casey.

However, in late 2005, after returning from a holiday in New York, Kelvin’s body started giving him more severe problems. He had to go for surgery to relieve his pain, but when the doctors opened him up, they stitched him back up immediately as the tumor had spread far too much to operate on anything. The only thing the doctors could do was to attach a bag to him to help him drain the bile from his kidneys. They also gave him huge doses of morphine to ease the physical pain. The following 3 weeks, he was in the hospital. The 3 weeks after that, he was at home.

When Kenneth, Rafikee and I visited him last Monday, he was had lost so much weight. He was literally just skin and bones. Before he had cancer, he was at least 85, if not 90 kg. Of course, he had already lost weight prior to the unsuccessful op, but even then he was probably only 50-plus, 60 kg. On Monday, he couldn’t have weighed more than 40-plus kg. He was weak to the point that he couldn’t even support his own head, much less talk. Even then, the first words to come out of his mouth were, “How have y’all been?” That’s the kind of guy Kelvin was; never too tired, never too busy, never too sick to care. Anyway, we stayed for about half-an-hour before we said a short prayer for him and left. We didn’t want to stay too long as it was very physically tiring for him.

Then on Friday, 13th of January 2006, I was on the MRT on my way to Taekwondo when I received a call from Kenneth. He told me that Kelvin might not be able to make it and that everyone was rushing to his place. I got off the train and rushed over. I met Kenneth nearby, and we ran as fast as we could over to his house. When we arrived, he had just passed away. As I stood there, I was numb. I was simply too shocked to react.

Kelvin’s wake was held on Saturday and Sunday evening. On both nights, the memorial hall was fully packed; they put extra chairs till they ran out of them and many people had to stand. I went for the wake on Sunday evening, and it was there it all sank in. I sat there, looking at the large crowd that had gathered and I was deeply encouraged by how many people had been touched by Kelvin. As the band played songs that so accurately described Kelvin’s mission and his testimony, tears just flowed from my eyes uncontrollably. Kelvin would always joke about how I had no feelings, and how my tear ducts were probably non-existent. But now, there I was: the biggest, most macho guy crying more than all the other guys in my clique.

The cremation on Monday morning was no different. As the hymns were sung and everyone paid their final respects, I was again bawling like a baby. When the casket was wheeled into the furnace, my crying just got more intense. To be honest, even I didn’t expect that from myself. My cousin Elizabeth later SMSed me to see if I was alright. She said, “… I haven’t seen you cry in…ever”. I guess that just goes to show how much I cherished this relationship I had with Kelvin.

In some sense, death is a paradox for Christians. We know that Kelvin is in a much better place and that his physical suffering is finally over. We know he is in heaven now, with God commending him, “Well done, good and faithful servant”. Yet, we feel a deep sense of loss. Yes, we’ll see him again, but probably not for a very long time. Selfishly, we want him here with us.

If you read the Bible, you will know of this passage in which Jesus’s friend Lazarus had died. Now, Jesus had healed people by the thousands, and everyone was expecting Him to do the same for Lazarus too. Jesus didn’t; instead, he let him die and then raised him from the dead so as to bring glory to God. What was more miraculous was this: “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).

This shows us 2 things. Firstly, no matter what happens, it happens for the glory of God. Kelvin was afflicted with cancer, but he used that to minister to people and to touch so many in such a profound way; all for the glory of God. Secondly, Jesus is with us in our sorrows. Sure, he didn’t heal Kelvin, but as we grieve, Jesus knows, and He gives us Himself. He gives us his tears. That should comfort all of us.

In his obituary, his family chose this verse for him, “According to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I will be put to shame, but with all boldness, as always, even now Christ will be magnified in my body, whether through life or through death” (Philippians 1:20). That verse just about sums up what Kelvin lived for. Kelvin lived his life to magnify Christ; even now that he’s gone, his testimony will live on and Christ will continue to be magnified.

Kelvin was quoted to have said, “Satan chose the wrong person to give cancer to. Cancer hasn’t weakened me; it has only made me stronger for God.” Charlotte said in her testimony, “Kelvin lived his life as a celebration. Now, even more so, we shall celebrate.” I remember Kelvin saying to us in class, “Guys, when I die, don’t feel sad for me. Rather, rejoice that I’ve finally completed my mission for God and am with him.”

We’re not sad for you, Kelvin. We’re happy for you. We’re glad that you’re finally away from this wicked world and in a much place where there’s no more crying, no more sorrow, no more pain. We’re proud of how you have lived a life pleasing to God, and how you have allowed Him to use you to touch so many people. We’re even more grateful for how you have touched each one of us personally, and how you have given us more than we could ever give back.

You have always inspired me, Kelvin. Your strength and joy in the Lord is something I want to have as well. You have taught me how to truly have faith in God. You have shown me how the grace of God is sufficient. Of course, I don’t blame God, and I never will. Rather, I thank God for how he has used you to impact me. You have been a great friend and I will miss your crazy antics, infectious laughter and boundless energy greatly.

I’ll see you again soon, man.

(For those of you who do not know Kelvin, I would like to take this opportunity to ask you to visit his blog. The link is in the sidebar, under "Kelvin David". )

The Keith Wong Era: A Poem

It’s amazing what comes into this sick, creative mind of mine at 3-plus a.m. I was working on an essay late into the night (or early into the morning), when I decided to wrap up and go to bed. I headed to the bathroom to brush my gorgeous white teeth, after which I returned to my room. Standing in front of my room’s full-length mirror, I started flexing my well-chiseled muscles. While admiring myself, a rhyme suddenly popped into my head. In a matter of minutes, this “poem” had completely spun itself inside my ingenious mind. Before this, I have never prided myself in having any poetic talent, but well, I surprise even myself sometimes. Nevertheless, I decided to put pen to paper and now, specially for all of you – my loyal fans – here it is on the Portal for the Self-Absorbed.

“The Keith Wong Era”

This is the Era of Keith Wong the Great,
If you didn’t know that, you must be a prehistoric man-ape.
The physique of a Greek god he has,
Because in the gym he busts his ass.
His focus is like a laser, his intensity unbelievable;
From benches to squats to deads, his strength is unimaginable.
His great muscles, few even dare dream attainable.
And if you think he’s just show boating,
Then, punk, you’re in for an ass-whooping.

If you think messing with Keith the Great
Is gonna get you lotsa hot dates,
And you think that’s gonna get you laid,
Well, sucker, the place you’ll be in is a hospital bed.
You see, when you piss off Keith,
He won’t just knock out your teeth.
When he beats your ass, he’s gonna pull no punches.
You’ll be lucky if you’re walking with crutches.
And much more is gonna happen.
He’ll take a chair, and use it as a weapon.
Bust your dumb head wide open!
So have your graves picked,
’Cause you gon get your ass kicked.

Hear that? It’s the sound of my loyal fans
Screaming in adoration,
as they see me pull a train with my bare hands.
So everybody get your shit tightly wired.
It’s MY time now!
Don’t be jealous, be INSPIRED!

-Keith Wong
© 2006. The Keith Wong Empire.

Finally

The link is up, my loyal fans. It’s in the side bar, under “Affiliate”. Beefing Up: Keith Wong’s Guide to a Better Physique is up and running.

The Year Ahead

2006 Is Upon Us.

Yet another year has flown by. In a blink of an eye, 2005 has come and gone. Looking back, 2005 has been a good year for me. I spent the first half of the year having a really long holiday after my 'O'-Levels last year. During this holiday period, I was in the gym everyday getting bigger and better. Then I started on my Mass Comm diploma course in May this year. The first semester was a blast. I’ve never had so much fun working so damn hard before. From the 20-plus hours we spent filming, to the countless late nights in school working on the Apple iCon marketing project, I enjoyed every moment of it. I’m now in my second semester and I’m still having lots of fun.

So what can we expect in 2006?

Well, for one, you can expect Yours Truly to become lean and mean. I’m now on my cutting program, and I guarantee a six-pack by mid 2006.

Secondly, more wise-cracks, sardonic remarks, pranks, and ass-whooping. Well, that’s pretty much what I do all the time, so maybe it’s kinda redundant to say it.

Let’s not forget the “Portal for the Self-Absorbed”. I promise more inspiring articles and more self-absorbed ramblings. And I’ll try to update it more frequently. After all, I know you - my loyal fans - simply can’t get enough of me.

Something else very exciting is coming up in 2006. A new blog! That’s right. Starting January 2006, Beefing Up: Keith Wong’s Guide to a Better Physique will debut. It will be the ultimate health and fitness blog; featuring information on everything fitness related: bodybuilding, weight loss, weight gain, exercising at home, nutrition, injury care and prevention, and even martial arts. You will get great information on how get into and stay in good shape, and thus, have a physique you'd be proud of and want to flaunt. Watch the sidebar, as the link will be up soon.

Have a great year ahead, my loyal fans. Happy New Year.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, my loyal fans. Christmas is a special time of the year. I’m sure you’re all looking forward to more self-absorbed ramblings by me, but unfortunately for you, I’ll have to decline. You see, Christmas is not about me. Neither is it about you, or partying or turkey or presents and all that. Christmas is about God.

Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. God loves us so much that He sent his only son, Jesus, to earth to redeem us through his death on the cross. Just think about the magnitude of that. Why would God care so much about insignificant beings such as us? Not only that, but sometimes we’re such ingrates as well. We don’t fully appreciate the sacrifice Christ made for us. It is only because of Christ’s death and resurrection do we have any hope at all.

This life is temporary. Whatever we have now will all fade. You can’t take your toys to the grave. What matters then is eternity. It is only through Christ do we have hope for eternity. He promises us eternal life with Him in heaven; we simply need to acknowledge Him as Lord and Savior put our trust in Him.

God, out of the great, unfathomable love He has for us, gave us the ultimate Christmas present. He gave us Jesus. This Christmas, as you go out and have fun, don’t get caught up and forget what Christmas is really all about. Remember, CHRISTmas is about God.

Have a blessed Christmas, my loyal fans.

Abnormal

Guess who's back, back again.
Keith Wong's back; hide your friends.

That's right my loyal fans. Keith Wong's back. After a 1 month absence, It's The Return Of The King. And I assure you, it's gonna be more magical than the Lord of the Rings.

Anyway, on to today's topic:

This past Wednesday, I woke up at my usual time of 5 in the morning to hit the gym. After an ass-kicking workout, I reached home at around 11 a.m. My siblings were still asleep. When I saw that, it made me nostalgic. I used to sleep till late in the afternoon too. It made me think: sometimes, it'd be great to be "normal".

I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to sleep an extra 4 hours a day? Who likes telling their peers they can't hang out just because they have to go the gym ALONE? Who likes to stay off ice-cream and chocolate and alcohol and soft dirnks and char kway teow and all the other cullinary indulgences? Who likes eating the same food - like tuna, eggs, chicken breasts - everyday? Who wouldn't want to be just a "regular" guy who hangs out, and sinfully indulges in food and sleeps 6 to 8 hours a day? Sometimes I really wish I could be like that.

I go out and look at all the "normal" people, and I see they way they look back at me like I've just stepped off some mothership. Then I go home and look in the mirrior and see a 220-pound hulk. I smile and think to myself: "normal" just isn't enough for me. It makes it all worth it. Waking up at 5 every morning to bust my own ass in the gym, missing out on the ice-cream and soft drinks and chocolate, eating the same tuna and eggs and chicken breasts every damn day, telling my peers I can't join them because I have to train. All that sacrifice. It's all worth it. Why? Because nothing is more gratifying than doing what you're most passionate about.

This is what I have chosen. This is my passion. I love being "abnormal".

Personality Disorder Test

Disorder | Rating

Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html

So apparently, according to this brilliant site, I, Keith Wong, am a freaking psycho.

Whatever.

C'mon we all know these psychologists are big bullshitters. They have a crappy little test like this one, tell you you're a nut-job, then try to sell you some books on your "condition". Take it from me. I am the Master of BS. You wanna bullshit someone, don't try it on me. People have even told me that I should be a psychologist and make a ton of money ripping suckers off. Like the old cliche goes, "Mess with the best, die like the rest." Cheesy, but true in this case.

And just in case you were thinking that I have a really low sense of self-worth and am so damn insecure about myself that I have to totally diss this personality test, read the rest of this blog! It's not called the "Portal For The Self-Absorbed" for nothing!

Anyway, the URL is there. Go have some fun and do the personality disorder test. See for yourself what sort of psycho you really are. It certainly left me in stitches.

You Never Know...

Eddie Guerrero 1967 – 2005.

Last Sunday, the world mourned the loss of one of the greatest professional wrestlers ever – Eddie Guerrero. He was found dead in his hotel room after suffering a massive heart attack. Eddie Guerrero was only 38 years old and in the prime of his career; in the midst of a storyline with WWE World Heavy Weight Champion Batista, even rumoured to win his second World Title when he died.

Life is unpredictable. You never know what might happen. You could be right on top of the world and then suddenly – just like that – it could all disappear. I think there are a few things we all can learn from this.

Firstly, make hay while the sun is shining. Make everyday count. Don’t waste a day procrastinating. Go out there and do what you need to, what you have to, and what you want to, while there’s still time. Don’t wait for tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come.

Secondly, treasure those around you. Make the most of your time with those closest to you. You never know when they might be taken away from you, or when you might be taken away. Eddie Guerrero’s family sure wasn’t expecting that they would never see him again.

Thirdly – and this is something for all of us to think about – how do you want to be remembered? What do you want it to say on your epitaph? What do you want written on your headstone? What do you want people to say during your eulogy? In a special edition of RAW this Monday night, Eddie Guerrero was remembered by his closest friends in the WWE as someone who had conquered his own demons, and who tried to help others conquer theirs. For the fans who didn’t know him personally, they all remembered him as a talented performer whose charisma and ring-savvy drove fans crazy every time. Sure, your death may not be as high profile as Eddie’s, but there will definitely be some people affected by it. How do you want to be remembered?

Finally, don’t have too much pride in what you have – your achievements, your accolades, your possessions – you can’t take them with you to heaven when you die. Enjoy them, be thankful, but don’t put too much stock in them.

Remember, my loyal fans, life is unpredictable. Your time on this earth is limited, and you never know when you might go. So make the most of the time you have, and savour every moment of it.

Thank You, LORD

All this while, my blog has been rather self-centered, to say the least. A good friend of mine, Luke, reminded me not to let my accomplishments get to my head and that I should always remember who made me what I am today. Although this blog is the “Portal for the Self-Absorbed”, I still need to take some time to give thanks to The One who has so graciously bestowed all these blessings upon me. He is none other than The Almighty God.

I thank God for my family. Like any typical family, we have our fair share of disputes and such, but there is never any animosity or hatred among us and we are close. I thank God for giving me parents who are supportive and never attempted to fit me into any sort of mould and gave me the free will to pursue what I was interested in. They never said I had to be a doctor or an engineer, or that I had to learn the piano or what have you. They allowed me to pursue my interests and develop my natural talents in martial arts and bodybuilding. They were supportive of me entering the Mass Comm. course in Ngee Ann Polytechnic and never forced me to go to a JC. I thank God for all that.

I am also truly thankful to God for blessing me with great friends. Guys like Kenneth, Rafikee, Kangaroo, Nick, Tat, Luke, Casey (better known as Frank the Pug), Sebastian, Kelvin, Wenjie and everyone else I didn’t mention. God has used these select individuals to touch my life in one way or another and I am truly grateful and honored to have these people as friends. I am also thankful to God for 5E1. It was one hell of a ride, all those years in secondary school. I have so many fond memories and there is nothing I would trade them for. I thank God everyday for each and every one of these special people whom I have the privilege of as friends.

I thank God for giving me a place in NP, Mass Comm. thus allowing me to do what I am interested in and what I’m good at. I find that I am someone who cannot excel in anything I have no interest in and so I am really glad that God has given me this opportunity. I am also grateful to God for the classmates that I have. They are a bunch of intelligent people who constantly keep me on my toes and provide me some much needed (friendly) competition.

I also thank God for giving me good genes. He has blessed me with a good brain, one that is intelligent, sharp, creative, witty and has the ability to think critically and analytically. Physically, He has also blessed me with a flair for martial arts and a naturally strong physique. I have always been bigger and stronger than most people around me and when I started bodybuilding, I put on weight (mostly muscle) with ease. (Of course, that means I have a slightly harder time than others when it comes to losing weight, or rather, fats; but hey, we can’t possibly have the best of both worlds).

I am truly thankful to God also for blessing my bodybuilding and martial arts endeavors. With regards to martial arts, he has blessed me with great flexibility and agility not commonly seen in a man my size. This, combined with my raw power and toughness has made me a very formidable combatant. I learn new techniques quickly and apply them appropriately with ease. I thank Him for blessing me with the natural inclination and also a chance to hone this natural talent of mine. As for bodybuilding, God has been good and blessed all my goals. When I started in November 2003, I was a fat, 96 kg guy with a dream which some dismissed as merely a fantasy. Then I lost 8 kg of fats in about 3 months or so and after that, put on another 2 kg of muscle. I then maintained my weight at 90 kg for about a year while I continued to train and get in better physical shape. Then at the start of this year I began my bulking phase and I put on 10 kg of muscle in 10 weeks. During the 7-week semester break which had just ended, I put on another 3 kg of muscle mass. I thank God for giving me the discipline and perseverance needed to achieve my goals. I have come a long way and it would not have been possible without The Almighty blessing me through it all.

There are so many other things that I thank God for; they are all swirling around my head and it’s hard to organize all those thoughts. I just want to thank Him for bring me thus far and blessing me abundantly. A favourite Bible verse of mine is Philippians 4:13 which says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” It reminds me that God is always there to give me the strength I need to go on and to soar, and I also know that he “will never leave me nor forsake me”. In Jeremiah 29:11, God declares “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” I know that my future is secure in the Lord’s hands and I will continue to trust in Him. For now, I just want to thank God again for everything he has so graciously and abundantly bestowed upon me. Without Him, I would be nothing.

Poly vs The World

Yesterday, while out with my Mass Comm classmates, the topic of polytechnic students begin heavily stigmatized came up. We discussed about how people in society, especially JC students, were condescending in their attitude towars poly students. We also discussed how students in other diploma courses in the Polytechnics especially loved to hate people from Mass Communications.

I shall first address the former, ie. people with condescending attitudes towards poly students. Polytechnics are now gaining more and more prestige. Employers nowadays are more open to hiring poly graduates because they have been equipped with the relevant industrial skills. A wide variety of courses are available, from Mass Communications to Biotechonolgy to Nursing to differnent fields in Engineering. Students, aware of this, are increasingly choosing to enter polytechnics and pursue diplomas instead of taking the "conventional" JC route.

Granted, there are some courses that do not require excellent academic results (to say the least) for students to enrol into. However, the graduates they produced are nonetheless equipped with the industrial skills needed to find reasonable employment. In an article in the Straits Times today, titled "50 Young People to Watch", more than half of these young people featured are from Polytechnics, with one of them even a CEO of his own web-solutions company.

For those of you previously ignorant of this, I forgive you. However, for those who still stubbornly insist that "JC is the only way to go", then I have nothing but pity for u. Your brain is still stuck in the past, and it is people like you who will be left out in the end.

With regards to the condescending JC students, frankly, you are like small kids compared to us in poly. Take the Mass Comm students for example. We basically study the media, which is all around us. Everywhere you go, you will be hit by some form of media. From advertising, to the movies you watch, to the music that you enjoy on the radio channel that you tune into frquently, to the drama serials aired on TV, to the websites you frequent; the media is eveywhere. By studying the media, not only are we being furnished with the skills needed to survive in such a competitive and influential industry, we are also very much more aware of the society that we live in.

In JC however, you are still learning complex mathematical formulae that you will most probably never ever use again in your life in future. You are merely studying for the sake of passing exams. You are merely "book smart" people. And in this day and age, being "book smart" just isn't enough anymore. So who do you think is better prepared to enter the "real world" next time?

Likewise, I forgive those who were previously ignorant and now know better. However, if you still can't see the folly of your thinking, well then, it's fine with me. Just remember this article, written by this great intellectual mind, when a poly graduate kicks your corporate ass in the near future.

Moving on, I shall now address the issue of why "Mass Comm-ers" are so fondly hated by the rest of the poly community.

One word: Jealousy.

Mass Communications is the most elite diploma course anywhere in Singapore. It can even rival the top JCs in terms of the academic calibre of the students. The selection process is a very strict one. Apart from academic results, a written test and interview is also conducted to screen students. Out of the thousands that apply each year, only about 200 are selected. Out of these 200 students, about 10% either drop out or are kicked out.Those that stay are obviously the cream of the freaking crop.

When a student in poly makes known that he/she is from Mass Comm, only one of two reactions will be recieved. One is admiration, the other is hatred. You see, when someone is so elite, so good, so successful, people will try to find little little things to criticize them about. Why? Isn't success always celebrated? Well, the only thing people love more than a success, is a failure.

Why do you think "triumph of the underdogs" themed movies like The Longest Yard and 8 Mile are so successful? Not so much because the underdogs triumph, but more because the "giants" fail/fall.

That is why "Mass Comm-ers" are always criticized for the way they dress and speak, etc. "Oh, look how short those girls' skirts are", "Whoa, Mass Comm like everyday fashion show liydat!", "Whoa, why Mass Comm people talk dat time like got slang one huh?" Baby, we don't slang - you just speak poorly! How do the above statements, if true, have got relevance to why these select few elites are in Mass Comm? Does that mean they are less capable? Does that really make you any better than them? C'mon! How is it beneficial for you to bitch about us? The fact that you have to put us "Mass Comm-ers" down in this way shows your own insecurity and jealously. Thanks for supporting my case.

As a great athlete once said, "You know something, when you're as good as I am; you get used to people looking at you like that. You get used to jealous expressions that come your way. When you're that damn good, it's an every day occurrence." It true, folks. The hatred just stems from jealousy.

So, fellow "Mass Comm-ers", hold your heads high. If confronted by these cheap allegations, just use these timeless words of wisdom, courtesy of Keith Wong (take these words to heart too, O jealous ones): DON'T BE JEALOUS, BE INSPIRED!

Pain

My ENTIRE body has been wrecked with pain this week.

My chest was aching after training on Monday all the way until Thursday. It was so bad I had problems soaping my own back. And if you have ever experienced your pecs (chest muscles) ache so badly before, you will know that it seems as though your whole upper body is immobilized. The pain can be felt even as you turn over to hug your own bolster. Yes, it's THAT bad.

My shoulders were aching from Tuesday to Thursday as well. Then last night after I spent 20 minutes intensely hitting the sandbag, my shoulders have started to ache again. My knuckles are all bruised now, so much so that I feel a pain whenever my hands touch cold water.

My thighs, calves and glutes (ass muscles) are still aching from heavy squats during leg training on Wednesday. To add to this, I had 2 hours of Taekwondo training on Wednesday and Friday night, further working my legs. Even the muscles in my feet are sore. Now I have problems walking, standing, and even sitting down. Because my glutes are so sore, I can't sit down on anything that doesn't have a cushion. (A good example of that is the toilet seat.)

My arms are still sore after training them on Thursday. Well, it really isn't as bad now, but on Thursday, my hands were shaking while I was merely carrying a plate of rice. And they cramped in the shower too, so I had to stretch my arms right there and then and thus took twice as long to bathe.

Fridays are the worst - I work my back. That means heavy deadlifts. For those of you that don't know what that is, it is basically an exercise done with a barbell that works all the muscles in your upper body. It is both physically and mentally exhausting. In addition to that, I do 5 other exercises that really traumatize my back muscles. So now, my lats (wings), traps (upper back), rhomboids (middle back) and lower back are all aching like hell. That also means that I cannot lean back on any surface that isn't properly cushioned.

Hell, even my abs and obliques (the muscles at the side of the abs) are sore. This, coupled with my back aching so bad, is one terrible combination. Firstly, when I wake up in the morning, I can't sit up in my bed. This means that I literally have to roll off it! And then I have to use my arms, which are still sore, to break my fall. When I stand up, the sudden usage of my calves cause it to hurt even more. Then, when I put on my pants, I have problems bending down, so I hop around the damn room while I struggle to pull my pants up. And like I already mentioned, my calves and feet are aching, so wearing my pants is now like a workout in itself.

In addition to ALL this, my hands (fingers included) are aching and blistered from all the weights I've hoisted around this past week.

But you know what the sickest part of it all is? It's not the fact that it hurts so bad. Or the fact that is all self-inflicted. It's the fact that I FREAKING LOVE IT! Everyday when I have completed my workout and I leave the gym completely exhausted, I feel a sense of loss. It's the same kind you get when you have to leave a party early. I already start looking forward to my gruelling workout session scheduled for the next day. And next week, it will all continue when I train my chest again on Monday.

Some may ask how anyone can put his body through so much punishment and enjoy every second of it. Well, part of it is due to the sick, sado-masochistic streak in me. NO PAIN, NO GAIN. Most of it, however, is attributed to passion and dedication. I just love training, plain and simple. I don't do it for the girls or just to show off and make other guys feel puny. (Seeing people open their eyes and hearing them whispering to each other "this guy is big like f..." still strokes my ego, though.) I do it simply because I love it and am passionate about it. Further, I know that by putting my body through hell in the gym, I will inch closer and closer to my dream physique. A physique that will put people in awe. A physique like 10 time WWE World Heavyweight Champion: The Game, Triple H. Simply put, the PHYSIQUE OF A GREEK GOD.

That's it for now, my loyal fans. Lest my fingers should ache further.

Quote

"We reap what we sow.
Sacrifices reap benefits. Big sacrifices reap bigger benefits."
-Luke Wee

This is something I read off Luke's blog. Just thought that this kinda sums up the point in my last 2 posts. Good job, man.

Good Things Come To Those Who...

Good things come to those to wait. So goes the old adage. However, a gross misconception is that "wait" means "sit-on-your-ass-and-wait". Or rather, that's how lazy people misinterpret and twist it to suit their sedantary lifestyles. You are not going to be rich or achieve any kinda success by sitting on your sofa and waiting for opportunity to proverbially come knocking.

"Wait" in this context means "persevere". It means that you are not going to achieve great success overnight. The fat kid who lost 20kg and now looks lean and mean has spent months going to the gym and dieting. Mohamed Ali spent years training his ass off tirelessly before he finally became World Heavyweight Boxing Champion. Ronnie Coleman has spent years upon years training with weights and keeping a strict diet before he became Mr Olympia. He persevered and is now a 7-time Mr. Olympia. and Look at any successful individual and you will realise that all of them have one thing in common. All these people have persevered in their endeavours and thus have reached great heights few will ever reach.

In my opinion, GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO GRAB! This is not about the disgracefully typical "kiasu" Singaporean mentality. It means that if you want something, then you have to reach out and grab it. You have to start working for it. And persevere to see the fruits of your labour.

So go ahead, grab the good things you have coming to you. Otherwise, just sit back and watch in awe as others reach out and soar to greater heights.

The Road Less Travelled

So, who wants to be a millionaire? A billionaire? Who wants to have the proverbial "dream job of a lifetime"? Who wants to lose weight? Who wants to have the physique of a Greek god? Who wants to be exceptional? Who wants to be GREAT?

Answer: EVERYONE!

The Truth: Only a special few will ever reach such heights.

Often we see individuals living out their dreams. We look in awe at their accomplishments and think to ourselves "someday", "if only..." However, it merely stops there. We just continue on with our regular mundane lives and don't do anthing to achieve those dreams of ours. We end up never reaching that "someday".

That is absolutely PATHETIC!

It is common for humans to see a "somebody" and be in awe of his achievements and success. What we don't appreciate is how that person got there. The successful business man has spent many long, boring hours in the office day in and day out building and growing his business, thus amassing such wealth. The top pro-athlete has put in countless hours of training, religiously honing his skills, thus being the best at what he does. The guy you see in the gym with a Greek god physique manhandling barbells stacked with plates that amount to more than twice his body weight has spent countless hours in the gym, subjecting his body to a hellacious workout routine and a strict diet. These people have achieved such greatness because they were and are willing to take the road less travelled, to put themselves through hell just to achieve their dreams. Just to be extraordinary.

However, everyday we see people sitting on their fat candy asses wishing and waiting for their "big break". Well, it just isn't gonna happen. If you want to be great, if you want to be extraordinary, if you want to put people in awe each time you walk into a room, then you'd better be ready to put your body and your mind through whatever hell is necessary to achieve what you want. If you want financial success, then start reading up on businesses and maybe study and invest in the stock market. If you want to be in tip-top physical shape then get that lard ass off the sofa and hit the gym, or play some sports. If you want that chick, then pick up the damn phone and call her. If you really want something, then get off your ass, shut your yap and actually DO something for a change! Sitting in front of the TV watching football isn't gonna get you a better physique any more than watching a Bollywood movie is gonna make you an Indian. To be extraordinary, you will have to pay an extraordinary price.

The bottom line is this: Are you willing to pay the price? To go through whatever hell it takes? To make the necessary sacrifices? Are you willing to take the road less travelled? If you are, then you are one step closer to greatness. If you aren't, then stop dreaming of that "someday", because it will never come.

What's your choice?

Intro

Hello subjects,

Blogs have been called "portals for the self-absorbed" by critics. How true. You have to admit that blogs really do satisfy a person's ego and that most people ARE blogging to seek gratification in this area. It gives them a presence; they can finally be heard and they can finally find their insignificant name in a Google search. The difference between ME and the others? Well, I am upfront in admitting that YES! I AM FREAKING SELF-ABSORBED! I LOVE MYSELF! Oh Hell Yeah! So sit back, and take a deeeeeeeep breath. Keith Wong is here and you are gonna marvel at my greatness! Don't be jealous, be INSPIRED!